Lately I have been in panic mode.
Maybe having the second little made me realize that this is actually
happening. I am a mother. I have two little souls under my care who are totally
dependent on me. I am a grown-up.
Really??? When did
that happen???
Oh my. And so I have become a blog hopper. An online sermon enthusiast.
An article searcher. A parenting book critic. Yes, even a Pinterest junkie. All
in the name of figuring out what in the world I am doing, finding ideas on how
to do it better, and hoping to goodness that I am not screwing up my kids
forever.
And truthfully, at the end of the day I feel like I am
drowning in a sea of helpful and not-so-helpful advice, techniques, and ideas.
The ideal of perfect motherhood is out of my reach. My two year old is still
throwing tantrums. My six month old is still not sleeping through the night. I must
be the worst mother in the world.
But one recent, blessed day, for just a moment…I stopped. I stopped worrying about whether I should be more strict with our schedule, whether time-out or spanking or loss of possession is the best approach in which situation, whether I should feel guilty when Dora the Explorer allows me 25 minutes of tranquility. I stopped thinking about what everyone else is saying about what it
means to be a godly parent, and I thought, what does God say about it?
And here is what He said.
Hear,
O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love
the Lord your God with all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your strength. These
commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at
home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your
foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your
houses and on your gates.
The thing is, I have read this before,
probably a gazillion times. Or at least 384 times, no joking. I could
paraphrase it for you without even looking:
“Teach your children to love the Lord with
all of their heart/soul/strength. Talk about the Lord all the time, throughout
every day. The end.”
But wait.
As I read this passage in the middle of my
one quiet moment, I realized that the “Love the Lord your God” part was not
directed toward the children.
It was directed toward me.
(YOU)
love the Lord your God with all YOUR
heart and with all YOUR soul and
with all YOUR strength. These commandments
that I give to you today are to be on YOUR
hearts.
I know this. I do. I absolutely know that the one goal in my
Christian walk is to love the Lord with everything that I am and have. I know this is the greatest commandment. But
I had never seen it as it applied to my parenting before.
I have been so caught up in technique. How to discipline. How
to teach. How to train. But it hit me that really, that is not where my focus
needs to be.
My number one objective is not to figure out the most effective
way to teach my children to love the Lord. No, my number one aim is to love the
Lord my God.
And if I can accomplish that one goal, the rest will fall
into place.
If I love the Lord my God with all of my heart, then I will
begin to bear the fruits of the Spirit in my relationship with my children. I
will be more patient, more loving, more kind. And maybe my children will be
impressed by the mighty transforming work of the Spirit in my life.
If I love the Lord my God with all of my soul, then I will
stop seeking fulfillment in my husband’s affection, my children’s performance,
my community’s acknowledgement, and instead find my soul’s satisfaction in the
Living Water. And maybe my children will be impressed by the great sufficiency
of our Creator and Sustainer to give us our identity, our purpose, our peace.
If I love the Lord my God with all of my strength, then no
sacrifice will be too great as I serve my children. And maybe my children will
be impressed by the humility of Christ to reach down to us in our great need
and lay His life down in a much more perfect way than I ever could for my
children.
If I am loving the Lord and meditating on His commandments,
then I will be able to impress those great commandments (which are summed up in
the one commandment of love) on my children as we walk by the way, and as we
sit and rise and lie down.
And at the end of the day, if I am loving the Lord my God
with all that I am, the checklist that I started the day with may not be
completed. The laundry may or may not be done. The table may or may not have
been cleaned. But I can guarantee that I will have done more things that will
matter in eternity, and my children will be more impressed with the greatness
of God than with the “greatness” of a mother who appears to have it all
together.
Will I still read the blogs and listen to the sermons? Of
course. In a multitude of counselors there is great wisdom, and I certainly
need as much wisdom as I can get. Will I still have to grapple with how to
apply loving, gospel-centered discipline that will meet each of my kids
individually where they are? Of course. But how freeing it is to know that when
all is said and done, it all comes down to the same thing…the greatest
commandment…the deepest joy. To love the Lord my God.
