Friday, February 10, 2012

Averi Kate

The days of having you all to myself are coming to a close. Soon you will be here…maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few weeks. But very soon I will have to share you with the world.

I love having you safe in my womb. I know that there you will be as unaffected by the world and by outside dangers as possible. I love being the only person who always knows when you are awake and when you are asleep and when you have the hiccups. I love the thought of how God is forming every little part of you in a secret place, and when the time is right we will get to see what He has been working on for the past nine months.

I love wondering about you. What will you look like? Will you be sleepy or alert? Calm or feisty? Will you love to move and be active, or prefer to sit and contemplate? Will you be a good eater? Will you be cuddly or independent?

In so many ways I am ready to meet you, ready for you to make your appearance in the world. I am thrilled to watch my first baby become a big sister, and I can’t wait to see your Daddy’s face as he falls in love with you the first time he lays his eyes on you. I am ready to hold you in my arms and not just my tummy. I am ready to watch your face when I talk to you and sing to you and pray for you. I’m ready to make you smile. And yes, I’ll be honest, I am ready to shed the 20+ pounds that you have graced me with.

In other ways I am anxious. Once you are born I can’t protect you as well as I can right now. Will I be able to give you everything you need? Will I be a good mommy to two little girls? Will I make the right decisions for you?

In everything I am thankful. So incredibly humbled that God would make me your mommy. So incredibly blessed to have you in my life. I am thankful for God’s perfect timing. He formed you from conception, He knows your birthday, and He will release you to come out when the time is right.

If there is one thing I want you to know more than anything, my sweet second Little, it is that you will not be perfect, but the perfect One loves you more than you can know. You will fail, but the One who never fails has taken care of that for you. You will fall short of the glory of God, but the very Glory of God Himself already paid the price for your sins. If there is one thing I want you to do, Little, it is to trust in Him. Some trust in chariots and some on horses, but we will trust in the name of the Lord our God. If there is one thing that I want to define your life, it is that you love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind. Then love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these.

Your Creator is also your Savior. If you and your sweet sister can come to understand and believe and love that truth, nothing would make your mommy and daddy happier.

I love you and I can’t wait to meet you.