tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12656827706240491902024-02-02T00:28:49.899-05:00PerspectiveAs the heavens are higher than the earth, <br> so are my ways higher than your ways <br> and my thoughts than your thoughts. <br> Isaiah 55:9Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.comBlogger87125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-10637902729223847922022-07-29T11:18:00.003-04:002022-07-29T11:18:55.462-04:00A Wisdom so Broken<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s 5:30 AM, which is my new wake-up time because we got a puppy.
Technically, the kids got a puppy, which means that she “sleeps” on their side
of the house and they are responsible for getting up in the middle of the night
if she needs to go out. And by “they,” I mean that when I come into the living
room at 5:30 AM I know I will find Claire sleeping on the couch with little
Lucy curled up at her feet. I tap her on the shoulder and whisper, “Honey, do
you want to go back to your bed?” She nods, picks up her pillow, and stumbles
away for a couple more hours of sleep. Claire is twelve, but has always been
forty in her heart, which is what I will be in reality one year from today.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Today is my birthday. I sit beside Lucy on the couch and think
about it. I read from my Bible-in-a-year plan and think about how Solomon had
all the wisdom he asked for but slipped further and further into compromise
until you can’t even recognize that wisdom anymore. I wonder about myself, and
whether I will remember or forget the wisdom I have learned in 39 years.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Three months ago, for the fourth time in my life, I experienced
the incomparable shock wave of awe that comes when you realize that God has
formed a new life inside of you. It was unexpected. I had thought our family
was complete, but when the shock wore off I laughed at how much I had believed
that I was writing my own story, and at how different the plot was going to
turn out than what I had expected. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord established his steps.
</span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This morning my reading was of Solomon’s prayer of dedication at
the completion of the temple construction. He was on point as He recalled the
Lord’s faithfulness in the past and pointed toward all the different
circumstances that would compel God’s people to call on Him in prayer. I wonder
if Solomon had clung to that thought, if it would have changed the trajectory
of his story. I wonder if the turning point was when he stopped thinking about
God’s faithfulness, stopped thinking that he needed to be one of those people
crying out to the Lord.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In those early weeks I was not afraid. This was completely God’s
idea and not our own. I’ve lived long enough to know that He is faithful, and
that His plans are better than ours. In past seasons I have struggled and
rebelled against unexpected change, but for the first time, I knew nothing but
peace about this twist in the plot. This little life was God’s plan, and it was
good. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">But when I walked into that ultrasound room to see my baby for the
first time, and when the technician took too much time before turning the
screen around to face me, I knew.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="background: white; color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Abide with me, fast falls the
eventide</span></i><i><span style="color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">The darkness deepens Lord, with me abide</span></span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">For three more weeks I walked around in a body that thought I was
still pregnant but with a mind that knew the truth and a heart that hoped
against hope that maybe the ultrasound was wrong. Week by week I watched as my
labs returned with the confirmation that the life in my womb had ended. On June
23, the day before I would have been at the end of my first trimester, alone in
my bathroom I delivered the sweet shell of my child.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="background: white; color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When other helpers fail and
comforts flee</span></i><i><span style="color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me</span></span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The thing that I knew most deeply during the days of my
miscarriage was that my Shepherd was with me and that His faithfulness would
never fail. I knew it so deeply that I could taste it. Even when my spirit was
raging within me, I was fully confident in His goodness. I found rest. My
disbelief and fear and disappointment were safe in the refuge of His
compassion. In my brokenness He was so near.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">On my 39<sup>th</sup> birthday, I think about Solomon. I wonder in
those early days of his reign, when he was so broken and bowed by the weight of
the crown on his head, when he knew without a doubt that his only hope for
fulfilling his purpose was to sit at the feet of the Fountain of Wisdom, if he
felt that same nearness, if he could taste it. I wonder when it started to
fade. I think at the end of his life he remembered, but it was so bittersweet
as he wrote, “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth.” <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If this baby was a girl, her name was going to be Tessa Joy. Tessa
– “harvester” –<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>after my mom, who also
discovered that the name can mean “fourth child.” Harvester of joy. In the
hardest days, I read from Psalm 16 – “In Your presence is fulness of joy.” This
fourth child is in a fulness of joy I have not yet experienced, and that is a
beautiful thought for my heart to dwell on. <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="background: white; color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I fear no foe, with Thee at hand to
bless</span></i><i><span style="color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">Ills have no weight, and tears no bitterness</span></span></i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I’ve probably never been so broken as I have been in this season.
But what a deep well of wisdom is formed through suffering. I pray that I would
never be the same, that I would be marked forever by the comfort of God’s
presence that can only be experienced in brokenness. I look at Solomon and see
someone who gained wisdom but forgot how to use it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On my 39<sup>th</sup> birthday I hope I will
not forget.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i><span style="background: white; color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Where is death's sting? Where,
grave, thy victory?</span></i><i><span style="color: #202124; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><br />
<span style="background: white;">I triumph still, if Thou abide with me</span></span></i><i><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><o:p> </o:p></span></p>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-70956604212120641762022-01-31T16:00:00.002-05:002022-01-31T17:19:06.860-05:00The Middle Ages<p>About a year ago I experienced a shift – one which slipped
in unnoticed but proved to be rather seismic – in who I am as mom. For twelve years
I had at least one child in the baby-toddler-preschool era. I was a
stay-at-home mom. The role was hard but at least simple in some ways – keep them
fed, safe, somewhat clean. Teach them to listen, snuggle with them in the
mornings, pull up a chair to the kitchen counter so they can “help.” It was
defined – never easy, but still clear. It felt like running a marathon through
a mud pit – slow, exhausting, and inching toward the goal.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My baby started first grade this year. My firstborn turned
twelve. I have one eagerly knocking on the door of adolescence, one reluctantly
closing the door on the preschool years, and one trying to figure out who she
is in the middle. In the flash of a moment I went from stay-at-home mom to taxi
driver – from naps and bathtime to <s>screaming</s> cheering on the sidelines
of the court or field or stage, heart in my throat as I watch my babies give it
their all, facing the risk of failure, learning to persevere. Where I was once
exhausted physically, I find myself with three independent humans under my roof,
requiring less and less of my help with daily tasks. But where I once knew what
was required of me each day, I find that I am more and more desperate for
wisdom to guide, help, encourage, and instruct these three unique personalities.
It feels like running a marathon on a slip-n-slide – wild, unpredictable, moving
ahead by leaps and bounds some days and falling flat on my face other days.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I have been quiet for a couple of years. I’ve been finding
my footing. I’ve grieved the loss of the sweetness of babies and toddlers and
preschoolers, but I also love where we are. I love getting to know my kids all
over again, the people they are becoming. I’m not sure of myself. I had
developed perspective in those little years, and now I find I am developing it
all over again. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anxious thoughts look a little different in these middle
ages but they still tend to multiply. And when they do, I remember Moses’ words
to the anxious Israelites as they stared into the impassable sea that stood in
front of them. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Fear not…stand firm…see the salvation of the Lord…<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It doesn’t all depend on me. These sweet “little” people,
one of whom has reached only a couple of inches below the top of my head and
will probably pass me next year, will each have their own journey. They will
have to learn to trust in the Lord with all of <i>their</i> hearts, and I will
continue to do the same. The prayer that is most often on my lips and mind and
heart these days is that they, as Paul prayed for the Ephesians, will be rooted
and grounded in love.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The middle ages. We’re here, ready or not. But I think we’re
ready.<o:p></o:p></p>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-73912928988317174632021-11-21T15:19:00.000-05:002021-11-21T15:19:28.569-05:00The Tension and the Remembering<p>I see you on the hard days. I am acquainted firsthand with the
struggle between faith and sight. I know the look in your eye when your reality
does not line up with what you have been taught and what you have embraced and
what you know to be true.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We live in a tension.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There is the promise, and there is the waiting. There is
what we can see but also what we cannot. Our days are often a mixture of good
news and hard news. You’ll learn this more and more. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>But Abraham still stood before the Lord…<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It was in between the good news and the hard news, in the
tension of God’s faithfulness to His gracious promise and His just punishment
of evil. The Lord came, not for the first or second or even third time,
reminding Abraham that what He says, He will bring to pass – a son would be
born, nations would be blessed. Basking in the comfort of that assurance,
Abraham must have felt his heart drop when the Lord looked toward Sodom, when He
said, “I will go down and see,” when the men turned and went toward the city.
Abraham knew what they would find. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>But Abraham still stood before the Lord…<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Boldness and humility wrapped themselves up in his prayer to
the Judge of all the earth. “Will You indeed sweep away the righteous with the
wicked? Suppose there are fifty righteous within the city…forty-five…forty…thirty…twenty…ten…”
And the Judge of all the earth was not angry but full of compassion. “For the
sake of ten I will not destroy it.” Abraham clung to the promise and hoped.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>And Abraham went early in the morning to the place where
he had stood before the Lord…<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It was in between the good news and the hard news, in the
tension of God’s faithfulness to His gracious promise and His just punishment
of evil. Abraham had gone to bed knowing that within a year he would be a
father to the child of promise, yet also knowing that the life of his nephew,
whom he loved like a son, hung in the balance in a city full of wickedness.
When he got to the place where he had stood before the Lord, interceding as one
who knew he was but dust and ashes, and looked out over the valley, he saw the
smoke rise and he knew. His prayers had not been answered. His intercession had
not changed the outcome. The city was destroyed. The Lord had not found ten
righteous in Sodom. All was lost.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>So it was that, when God destroyed the cities of the
valley, God remembered Abraham…<o:p></o:p></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It was in between the hard news and the truth, the seen and
the unseen. He saw the destruction but he didn’t yet know the relentless mercy
that God demonstrated in Sodom. He saw the smoke but he didn’t yet know that his
Lord had literally pulled Lot and his family out of the city despite their
foolish lingering. He saw that the prayers he had spoken were unrequited, but
he did not yet know that the Judge of all the earth had heard the unspoken cry
of his heart and had moved to answer by rescuing his nephew. He thought Lot was
dead, but he wasn’t.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We live in a tension, but one day we will see not through a
glass dimly but face to face, and know not in part but in full. You will live
through days when your heart is filled with rejoicing in one instant and dread
the next. It is a hard thing to walk by faith, but it is the only way. Trust in
His promise because He is faithful. Know that He is always at work, even when
you can’t see. Boldly approach His throne because He is full of compassion.
Intercede knowing that He hears the cry of your heart. And when smoke fills the
horizon, remember that He is good, and that He remembers you.<o:p></o:p></p>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-67699032057799524552020-10-25T17:35:00.003-04:002020-10-25T17:35:26.180-04:00Lord of the Seasons<p> <span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></p><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="3bd2-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">You stood in the kitchen this morning, dissident, questioning the whole system as you have been doing since the day nearly a decade ago that I told you to pick up your shoes and put them in the bucket. You picked them up, leveled your 14 month old gaze on me, and promptly threw them back on the floor. You’ve come a long way since that notorious hour and a half long Battle of the Shoes, and your relentlessly questioning nature has gained an edge of wisdom but it is still there. And I kind of hope it will always be.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="ds6ef-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">So I flipped the grilled cheese sandwiches and thought about how hard it is to be between a child and a teenager, and how much maturity it takes to yield when you don’t want to. I thought about how a toddler needs kind and gentle authoritarianism but an almost eleven year old needs hope that will feed obedience past the days when a mom’s voice isn’t the loudest anymore. I thought about how I figured I would have the mom thing down by now but I still don’t have a clue what I’m doing. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="336rt-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box;">“I know this isn’t what you want. I know it doesn’t seem fair. But it’s the season that you are in. This season won’t last forever. But if God really is good, and He really is wise, and He really is in control, then there must be something good that He wants you to learn </span><span data-offset-key="336rt-0-1" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-down-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 9.01L12 16.4 4.61 9.01 6.02 7.6 12 13.57l5.98-5.98 1.41 1.42z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-left-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M15 19.4L7.6 12 15 4.6 16.4 6l-6 6 6 6-1.4 1.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-right-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M9 19.4L7.6 18l6-6-6-6L9 4.6l7.4 7.4L9 19.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-up-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 14.99l-1.41 1.41L12 10.43 6.02 16.4l-1.41-1.41L12 7.6l7.39 7.39z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-credit-card: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M11 15H7v-2h4v2zM22 5v14H2V5h20zm-2 6H4v6h16v-6zm0-4H4v2h16V7z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-drop-right: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M6 4.23v15.53L18.94 12 6 4.23zm2 3.54L15.06 12 8 16.23V7.77z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-grid-horizontal: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 11h20v2H2v-2zm0-6h20v2H2V5zm0 12h20v2H2v-2z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-help: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M12 2C6.49 2 2 6.49 2 12s4.49 10 10 10 10-4.49 10-10S17.51 2 12 2zm0 18c-4.41 0-8-3.59-8-8s3.59-8 8-8 8 3.59 8 8-3.59 8-8 8zm1.27-3.23c0 .68-.55 1.25-1.25 1.25s-1.22-.56-1.22-1.25.54-1.22 1.22-1.22c.68 0 1.25.52 1.25 1.22zm2.42-7.34c0 3.04-2.82 2.71-2.82 3.88v1.19h-1.72v-1.2c0-2.74 2.77-1.93 2.77-3.89 0-1.1-.78-1.6-1.93-1.6-1.34 0-1.9.71-1.9 1.99H8.31c0-2.33 1.44-3.68 3.62-3.68 2.01-.01 3.76 1.13 3.76 3.31z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">right now</span><span data-offset-key="336rt-0-2" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">. Maybe you could ask Him to show you what that is…”</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="8sg9i-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static;"><span data-offset-key="8sg9i-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">Now you are at tennis practice and I am wondering why these words flow out of me when you are standing in the kitchen with exasperation on your face but they leave me when I am alone with my own thoughts. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="co4ma-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">I know this isn’t what you want.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="1hit2-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="1hit2-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static;"><span data-offset-key="1hit2-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">I have spent the past half of my life coming to terms with the fact that life doesn’t cater to my wishes and dreams. I moved to New Orleans to pursue a calling and left in a hurricane. I entered the classroom as a teacher to change the world and left in tears. I married to become one and found out that it’s not automatic. I lost some friends too young, watched others leave a narrow path for a destructive one. I began to understand that my perfectionism will never satisfy. Thirty-one years I have been walking with the Lord and what frustrates me the most is how far I am from being like Christ.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="3umkp-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">But it’s the season that you are in, and it won’t last forever.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="7947i-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">Ah, there’s the part that flies from my mind. To everything there is a season, and I don’t get to define the length or determine the conditions. Does God say, “He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ”? Does He say, “Faithful is He who called you; He also will bring it to pass”? Does He say, “All things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose”? Why don’t I believe it? Cling to it through all the days when my sight is not catching up to faith? Like Abraham I get too impatient waiting for the promise.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="f7prj-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">But after so many vain attempts to change the seasons myself, to ignore them, to become bitter in the midst of them, or to crawl under a rock and hide from them, I wish I could constantly remember that it’s not the seasons but my perspective that needs to change the most.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="4ro0v-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static;"><span data-offset-key="4ro0v-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-down-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 9.01L12 16.4 4.61 9.01 6.02 7.6 12 13.57l5.98-5.98 1.41 1.42z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-left-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M15 19.4L7.6 12 15 4.6 16.4 6l-6 6 6 6-1.4 1.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-right-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M9 19.4L7.6 18l6-6-6-6L9 4.6l7.4 7.4L9 19.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-up-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 14.99l-1.41 1.41L12 10.43 6.02 16.4l-1.41-1.41L12 7.6l7.39 7.39z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-credit-card: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M11 15H7v-2h4v2zM22 5v14H2V5h20zm-2 6H4v6h16v-6zm0-4H4v2h16V7z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-drop-right: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M6 4.23v15.53L18.94 12 6 4.23zm2 3.54L15.06 12 8 16.23V7.77z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-grid-horizontal: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 11h20v2H2v-2zm0-6h20v2H2V5zm0 12h20v2H2v-2z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-help: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M12 2C6.49 2 2 6.49 2 12s4.49 10 10 10 10-4.49 10-10S17.51 2 12 2zm0 18c-4.41 0-8-3.59-8-8s3.59-8 8-8 8 3.59 8 8-3.59 8-8 8zm1.27-3.23c0 .68-.55 1.25-1.25 1.25s-1.22-.56-1.22-1.25.54-1.22 1.22-1.22c.68 0 1.25.52 1.25 1.22zm2.42-7.34c0 3.04-2.82 2.71-2.82 3.88v1.19h-1.72v-1.2c0-2.74 2.77-1.93 2.77-3.89 0-1.1-.78-1.6-1.93-1.6-1.34 0-1.9.71-1.9 1.99H8.31c0-2.33 1.44-3.68 3.62-3.68 2.01-.01 3.76 1.13 3.76 3.31z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">If God really is good…</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="130fd-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">I lift up my eyes to the mountains; where does my help come from?</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="98f6t-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static;"><span data-offset-key="98f6t-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-down-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 9.01L12 16.4 4.61 9.01 6.02 7.6 12 13.57l5.98-5.98 1.41 1.42z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-left-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M15 19.4L7.6 12 15 4.6 16.4 6l-6 6 6 6-1.4 1.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-right-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M9 19.4L7.6 18l6-6-6-6L9 4.6l7.4 7.4L9 19.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-up-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 14.99l-1.41 1.41L12 10.43 6.02 16.4l-1.41-1.41L12 7.6l7.39 7.39z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-credit-card: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M11 15H7v-2h4v2zM22 5v14H2V5h20zm-2 6H4v6h16v-6zm0-4H4v2h16V7z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-drop-right: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M6 4.23v15.53L18.94 12 6 4.23zm2 3.54L15.06 12 8 16.23V7.77z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-grid-horizontal: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 11h20v2H2v-2zm0-6h20v2H2V5zm0 12h20v2H2v-2z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-help: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M12 2C6.49 2 2 6.49 2 12s4.49 10 10 10 10-4.49 10-10S17.51 2 12 2zm0 18c-4.41 0-8-3.59-8-8s3.59-8 8-8 8 3.59 8 8-3.59 8-8 8zm1.27-3.23c0 .68-.55 1.25-1.25 1.25s-1.22-.56-1.22-1.25.54-1.22 1.22-1.22c.68 0 1.25.52 1.25 1.22zm2.42-7.34c0 3.04-2.82 2.71-2.82 3.88v1.19h-1.72v-1.2c0-2.74 2.77-1.93 2.77-3.89 0-1.1-.78-1.6-1.93-1.6-1.34 0-1.9.71-1.9 1.99H8.31c0-2.33 1.44-3.68 3.62-3.68 2.01-.01 3.76 1.13 3.76 3.31z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">And He really is wise…</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="29gtr-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">My help comes from the Lord, Maker of heaven and earth.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="cfl38-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static;"><span data-offset-key="cfl38-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-down-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 9.01L12 16.4 4.61 9.01 6.02 7.6 12 13.57l5.98-5.98 1.41 1.42z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-left-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M15 19.4L7.6 12 15 4.6 16.4 6l-6 6 6 6-1.4 1.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-right-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M9 19.4L7.6 18l6-6-6-6L9 4.6l7.4 7.4L9 19.4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-chevron-up-lt: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M19.39 14.99l-1.41 1.41L12 10.43 6.02 16.4l-1.41-1.41L12 7.6l7.39 7.39z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-credit-card: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M11 15H7v-2h4v2zM22 5v14H2V5h20zm-2 6H4v6h16v-6zm0-4H4v2h16V7z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-drop-right: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M6 4.23v15.53L18.94 12 6 4.23zm2 3.54L15.06 12 8 16.23V7.77z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-grid-horizontal: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 11h20v2H2v-2zm0-6h20v2H2V5zm0 12h20v2H2v-2z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-help: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M12 2C6.49 2 2 6.49 2 12s4.49 10 10 10 10-4.49 10-10S17.51 2 12 2zm0 18c-4.41 0-8-3.59-8-8s3.59-8 8-8 8 3.59 8 8-3.59 8-8 8zm1.27-3.23c0 .68-.55 1.25-1.25 1.25s-1.22-.56-1.22-1.25.54-1.22 1.22-1.22c.68 0 1.25.52 1.25 1.22zm2.42-7.34c0 3.04-2.82 2.71-2.82 3.88v1.19h-1.72v-1.2c0-2.74 2.77-1.93 2.77-3.89 0-1.1-.78-1.6-1.93-1.6-1.34 0-1.9.71-1.9 1.99H8.31c0-2.33 1.44-3.68 3.62-3.68 2.01-.01 3.76 1.13 3.76 3.31z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); 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--uxp-icon-trash: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M19 5h-2.27l-.96-3H8.23l-.96 3H4v2h1v15h14V7h1V5h-1zM9.69 4h4.62l.32 1H9.37l.32-1zM17 20H7V7h10v13zm-6-2H9V9h2v9zm4 0h-2V9h2v9z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-user: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M20.618 21.925c-3.378-1.395-5.518-2.552-6.542-3.537a1.711 1.711 0 01-.589-1.21 2.329 2.329 0 01.904-1.64c.855-.885 2.147-2.222 2.147-5.872C16.538 4.644 14.113 4 12 4c-2.113 0-4.539.644-4.539 5.666 0 3.651 1.293 4.987 2.148 5.871a2.331 2.331 0 01.904 1.642 1.707 1.707 0 01-.588 1.208c-1.026.987-3.166 2.143-6.544 3.538l-.762-1.85a23.817 23.817 0 005.731-2.962l-.178-.185c-.947-.979-2.71-2.802-2.71-7.262C5.461 3.33 9.016 2 12 2c2.982 0 6.538 1.33 6.538 7.666 0 4.46-1.763 6.282-2.71 7.262-.057.057-.117.12-.175.181a23.792 23.792 0 005.729 2.966l-.764 1.85z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-x: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M13.41 12l4 4L16 17.41l-4-4-4 4L6.59 16l4-4-4-4L8 6.59l4 4 4-4L17.41 8l-4 4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">And He really is in control…</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="2isfl-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="9out-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static;"><span data-offset-key="9out-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">Then there must be something good that He wants you to learn right now.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="84ua7-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">I want you to know that God is for you; that He is Lord of all the seasons that we experience, and that we can’t define happiness apart from humble submission to Him. I want you to know the joy of trusting in His promises and walking in obedience. Of doing justice and loving mercy and walking humbly with our God. Of abiding in Him and He in you.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="a9d6r" data-offset-key="cbco6-0-0" style="--uxp-icon-alarm2: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M12 4c2.6 0 4.6 2 4.6 4.6 0 3.3.7 5.8 1.6 7.4H5.7c.8-1.4 1.7-3.8 1.7-7.4C7.4 6 9.4 4 12 4zm0-2C8.3 2 5.4 4.9 5.4 8.6c0 5.9-2.4 7.7-2.4 7.7l.5 1.7h16.9l.6-1.7c-.1 0-2.4-1.8-2.4-7.7 0-3.7-3-6.6-6.6-6.6zm2.3 17.3c-.4.3-1.2.7-2.3.7-1.1 0-1.9-.3-2.3-.7l-1.4 1.4c.8.8 2.2 1.3 3.7 1.3s2.9-.5 3.7-1.3l-1.4-1.4z'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-apps: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path fill-rule='evenodd' d='M2 2h4v4H2V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm8 0h4v4h-4V2zm0 8h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm-8 0h4v4H2v-4zm0 8h4v4H2v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4zm8 0h4v4h-4v-4z' clip-rule='evenodd'/></svg>"); --uxp-icon-cart: url("data:image/svg+xml;utf-8,<svg xmlns='http://www.w3.org/2000/svg' viewBox='0 0 24 24'><path d='M18.2 18.4a1.8 1.8 0 110 3.6 1.8 1.8 0 010-3.6zM8.8 22a1.8 1.8 0 100-3.6 1.774 1.774 0 00-1.7 1.8A1.71 1.71 0 008.8 22zm10.981-5H7.205l-3-13H2V2h3.795L6.95 7h15.332l-2.5 10zM8.795 15h9.424l1.5-6H7.41l1.384 6z'/></svg>"); 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box-sizing: border-box;">I want me to know it too.</span></div></div>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-34466782771259227662020-01-11T09:25:00.000-05:002020-01-11T09:25:08.621-05:00A Glorious Forgetfulness
<br />
A chicken pot pie with broccoli instead of peas is not
normal.<br />
<br />
<br />
You guys may not know this, because you are kind of used to
my strange substitutions based on what we have in the fridge. But of all days,
it was the day that I called our neighbor down the street, whose wife is on
hospice care, and said, “Hey! I’m making chicken pot pie tonight and I’d love
to bring you a plate of it,” to which he innocently said, “That would be great,
thank you so much. I love chicken pot pie.” And then I looked in the freezer, and
no-peas-but-lots-of-broccoli stared me in the face, and I thought, oh, that
wouldn’t be bad.<br />
<br />
<br />
And to me, it really wasn’t. But to Mr. Ron? Well, he was
gracious when he returned the bowl, but the next time I called him and said, “Hey!
I’m making chili tonight and I’d love to bring you a bowl of it,” he said, “Oh!
You know, I think we’re good for tonight.” Which was probably the safest thing
since I do have a habit of putting pumpkin puree and a handful of chocolate
chips into the chili.<br />
<br />
<br />
You three live in the closest quarters to me, plus you seem
to be wise beyond your years sometimes when it comes to observing my moods and
feelings. So I know that you saw how I struggled with the whole
chicken-broccoli-pot-pie event – how I struggle with every “good deed” that I
do when the spotlight of it is over. How I question whether I was overly
friendly to the visitor at church; whether I blew it in teaching the Bible study;
whether I sounded awful when singing, or said the wrong thing to this person,
or said the right thing in the wrong way to that person, or put the wrong
vegetable in the chicken pot pie that I was trying to use to minister to my
neighbor. Second-guessing myself is one of my stronger habits.<br />
<br />
<br />
I don’t know if you will also struggle with this, but I want
you to know something that I have both known forever and am just discovering.
If I can let it sit long enough and deep enough, I think it might just change
everything.<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Without faith it is impossible to please God…</i><br />
<br />
<br />
In the Old Testament we read of Abraham, though obedient to
follow God and trust in His promise, also demonstrating cowardice and lying at
times, and impatience with God’s timing to fulfill His promise.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>By faith Abraham obeyed…</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
We read of Isaac’s weakness of character in dealing with his
sons.<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>By faith Isaac invoked future blessings on Jacob and Esau…</i><br />
<br />
<br />
We read of Jacob’s deceitful and manipulative nature.<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>By faith Jacob, when dying, blessed each of the sons of
Joseph, bowing in worship over the head of his staff…</i><br />
<br />
<br />
We read of Gideon’s fear and of Barak’s lack of courage and
of David’s great sin.<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Time would fail me to tell of Gideon…of Barak…of David…who
through faith conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises…</i><br />
<br />
<br />
The stories are there, and the weaknesses and the failures
and the sins of the people, for everyone to see. The discipline of the Lord is
there as well, with consequences fair and loving and hard. But at the end of
the day, when it’s God’s turn to provide commentary on His children’s lives, His
opinion of His children is not based on their weaknesses, failures, sins, or
mistakes. It is intentionally based on their faith, and nothing makes Him
happier.<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>God is not ashamed to be called their God…</i><br />
<br />
<br />
If God chooses only to remember, to call to mind, the things
that are done in faith, then that means that I am free. Free to serve Him and
do good deeds and walk in obedience without fear of disappointing Him if I don’t
do it perfectly. Where I sin, He will discipline; where I make mistakes, He
will correct; where I fail, He will redeem. But I never have to worry about my
reputation with Him. In Christ, when He thinks of me, He chooses to call to mind
all the times that I have acted in faith, and to “forget” all the rest.<br />
<br />
<br />
And that, to me, is a glorious forgetfulness.<br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-67524851188135221752019-11-10T16:09:00.001-05:002019-11-10T16:09:08.684-05:00What We've Left Behind
<br />
It’s quiet in my house.<br />
<br />
<br />
This rarely happens. Right now it is because of the extreme
good will of a man who knows me better than I know myself, a man who looked at
me last night and said, “I’m taking the kids out tomorrow and you’re staying
here.”<br />
<br />
<br />
So at the end of a blur of a week, my three kids and my husband
and my mother-in-law are sitting in a canoe on a lake while I am just sitting.<br />
<br />
<br />
Two of my babies had birthdays this week and I am not that
old, surely not old enough to have been a mother for a decade, surely not old
enough to have moved completely past the “four years and under” stage.<br />
<br />
<br />
As far as Wednesday I still had a nine year old and a four
year old as my bookends. But at the end of the week I find myself wondering,
what have we left behind?<br />
<br />
<br />
On Thursday the sweet girl who first made me a mom left
behind the single digits. Soon I think she’s going to leave me behind as her
head is now up to my ear. On Friday my favorite little boy left behind the “preschool”
years, and I tell him every time I pick him up that I’m not going to be able to
this much longer and soon he’s going to have to pick me up instead. We have
left behind the days of potty training (praisethelord) and squeezable applesauce
packets. I don’t have to dress anyone or bathe anyone (praisethelordagain), and
even the expectation of feeling a little hand in mine as we walk is not a given
anymore.<br />
<br />
<br />
Yes, time seems to be gaining speed. I’ve always heard “the
days are long but the years are short” and I always knew it was true, but it
seemed like a cruel trick. Yes, I am aware that these moments are fleeting but
I am powerless to make them slow down, and now my children range from ten years
old to five years old and I feel the weight of that.<br />
<br />
<br />
But even as I thought about what we have left behind, what
we are leaving behind each time the sun sets, my gaze and my breath are caught
by the sunrise. Instead of being afraid and trying so desperately to hold on to
what time seems to steal away so quickly, maybe what is ahead is even better.<br />
<br />
<br />
Double digits may leave behind the simplicity of childhood,
but they hold the promise of deep conversations and the earliest seeds of shifting
from mother/daughter to friends. Five may look so much bigger than four but it opens
the door for greater adventures and discoveries. In early seasons we focus on knowledge
but as we press forward, knowledge becomes understanding and understanding
becomes wisdom. We plant seeds of faithfulness and character and hope, and as
time flies by we are beginning to uncover the fruit.<br />
<br />
<br />
Rather than weep over what we leave behind, I’d like to “laugh
at the days to come.” Because as surely as His mercies have been enough for ten
and seven and five years, I know that when the sun sets tonight and rises again
tomorrow, His mercies will still be enough.<br />
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-68514357328353546382019-11-10T16:07:00.004-05:002019-11-10T16:07:33.311-05:00The Not Fair Day, and How You Are Known<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="9p6vc-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="9p6vc-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">At 9:14 this morning you missed three words on your spelling test, and from there the day was over.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="34gjo-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="34gjo-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Also, the guitar case pinched your finger. You fell on your head while trying to do a back walkover. The cereal box was empty. You accidently kicked your sister completely off the couch and had to have all couch-sitting privileges removed for the morning. And at least 18 arguments erupted in which you were involved but that were most definitely not your fault at all.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="30f6o-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="30f6o-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">It’s really just not a fair day.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="8p2vs-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="8p2vs-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">I know you – not completely and not perfectly, but better I think than you know yourself. I know that you light up the room, that you want more than anything in the world to be helpful, that you have the most contagious laugh, and that you feel things more deeply than perhaps people would imagine. I know that it bothers you to death when the picture you drew doesn’t measure up to your expectations, or when someone doesn’t want your help, or when you miss three words on your spelling test.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="icgf-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="icgf-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="icgf-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Being known doesn’t change the not-fairness of this day. But it might just be better.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="20oan-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="20oan-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="20oan-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="dfng9-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="dfng9-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Though I wish I could tell you differently, not fair days will continue to happen. They’ll just move from seven-year-old concerns to thirty-six-year-old worries. They’ll be full of mistakes of your own making and things that are completely outside of your control. I know because I face them too. And sometimes I understand why things are the way the are, and more often I don’t. It feels like I’m looking through a foggy window. One day all of the questions will be answered, and loose ends will be tied up and the tapestry will be complete. One day it will all make glorious sense.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="e7mhf-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="e7mhf-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">But today.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="3eplf-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="3eplf-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="3eplf-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">On this very not fair day, while the glass is still foggy and the mirror is still dim, we are fully known.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="bd8ku-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="bd8ku-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="bd8ku-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">You in your meltdown and I in my inner turmoil are fully known…accurately, intimately, lovingly known.</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="2lpps-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="2lpps-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Formed by the Creator</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="a2epm-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="a2epm-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Recognized by the Shepherd</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="9uj85-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
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<span data-offset-key="9uj85-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Acknowledged by the King</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="6n22a-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="6n22a-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="6n22a-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">Understood by the Savior</span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="a5n8i-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="a5n8i-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="a5n8i-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">And though we may not have answers or closure or understanding yet, we can be assured that there is One who sees, who cares, who knows. </span></span></div>
</div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="6l43q" data-offset-key="9lu0d-0-0" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #111111; font-family: gdsherpa,Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: pre-wrap; word-spacing: 0px;">
<div class="public-DraftStyleDefault-block public-DraftStyleDefault-ltr" data-offset-key="9lu0d-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box; direction: ltr; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-top: 10px; position: static; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">
<span data-offset-key="9lu0d-0-0" style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span data-text="true" style="box-sizing: border-box;">When I tell you that I love you, you always tell me that you love me more, and I always say that’s not possible because I’m so much bigger than you. Maybe, even and especially on the not fair days, we can both learn to rest in the love that is bigger than us all.</span></span></div>
</div>
Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-18207835027022073842019-09-08T13:36:00.002-04:002019-09-08T15:24:23.584-04:00A Tribute to the One who Made the Two<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This could be a tribute to the one that I call Daddy.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">From my earliest memories he easily moved from home to the
pulpit and back again because he was the same no matter where he was. In the
pulpit he taught patiently, line by line, word by word; he spoke confidently, because
he absolutely believed every word that he said. In the pulpit he showed us how
to study, how to drink from the fountain of life for ourselves, so that what we
learned on Sundays stretched so far beyond that day. In the pulpit he was
gentle; in the pulpit he was bold; in the pulpit he laughed (ahem, “The Donkey
that Talked,” anyone?) and in the pulpit he cried. In the pulpit he said, “Let’s
see what the Word of God has to say about this,” and “I wonder how it is with
you today,” and “This is God’s invitation for you.”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">At home he taught patiently, day by day, car ride by car
ride; he read and spoke and helped us memorize the words of life so that one
day we would have a treasure trove inside our hearts that would stretch far
beyond those morning rides to school. At home we jumped on his back as he
studied and prayed. At home he was gentle and bold and at home he laughed and
he cried. At home he said things like “Hold the rope” and called me Janer and
made a fish face at my bedroom door in the mornings and made a “place” for my
stuffed animals at night.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This is the man who followed me to college two hours away to
make sure I arrived safely; who never missed one of my basketball games; who
cried when he left me in New Orleans and when he walked me down the aisle and
who still regularly looks at me and says, “Have I told you lately…?”, to which
I always nod and understand that he is so proud of me; who served for over 40 years
in ministry and over 33 of those at the same church, shepherding a flock of
people with the same love and tenderness that we knew at home. This is the man
who I still call when I am stumped by something in Scripture or when I just
need an anchor, to hear something that feels like home.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This could be a tribute to the one that I call Daddy.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This could be a tribute to the one that I call Mom.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">My childhood memories are full of silly songs and laughter
and safety because of her. She taught me how to celebrate the small things in
life, like listening to Christmas music on the 25<sup>th</sup> of each month or
decorating the house in blue and orange before Dad got home on the night that
Auburn beat Georgia. She sounds just like Karen Carpenter when she sings and I learned how to sing harmony by listening her in the car and on the front pew. She was my biggest encourager, speaking words of life and
hope over me even before they were yet true. She celebrated my performance in
school without ever making me think that it defined me. She taught me how to live as if life is a musical and called me "Shauna" and said things like, “Remember
who you are and whose you are” each time I left the house as a teenager, and “Is
this going to matter in eternity?” when dealing with problems that grew out of
proportion. Those words till echo in my mind to this day.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Perhaps her biggest gift to me has come since I have become
a mother and started walking the same road that she has been walking since I
have known her. When I call her in desperation and say “I don’t know what I am
doing…” or “I feel like I am failing at everything…” she responds with complete
confidence – “You are doing fine. You will know what to do when you need to
know it. Keep doing the next right thing.” That confidence is irreplaceable and,
as I did when I was a child and then a teenager, I have come to realize as an
adult and a mother, that my mom is still my biggest cheerleader.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This could be a tribute to the one that I call Mom.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">This could be a tribute to the two who together walked
through mountains and valleys that come with decades of ministering to people. I
saw them flirt with and kiss each other in the living room or the kitchen each
day; I heard their prayers through my bedroom wall as I fell asleep each night. They took us on vacation to the New Perry Hotel and listened to oldies in the car and are as different from each other as night and day, but couldn't fit more perfectly. I felt safe and accepted in their presence. I watched them struggle, rejoice,
persevere – always together. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Yes, this could be a tribute to the two.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But instead, I think this is a tribute to the One who made
the two.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Before I was born, before they were born, He knew the plans He
had for them, for us, for me. He knew there was a little house in Milledgeville,
a little church called Northside, a little place that He would plant the two,
grow them, use them. 33 years has been fast and it has been slow, but it has
never been a surprise to the One who made the two. He has guided each step; He
has used each circumstance. He has been building His kingdom, equipping the
saints, working an eternal weight of glory. At home and in the pulpit and
everywhere in between, the story does and has always belonged to Him.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">He is the faithful One. My dad and my mom, they taught me
how to trust in Him, lean on Him, hope in Him – because He is faithful. All of
my life I have been “Bro. Jerry’s daughter” and I have never once been ashamed
of that; this week I will watch my dad and mom finish out the calling that God
gave them over three decades ago and rest in His plan for them and for
Northside. Things will be different and I may or may not feel like crying at
random points every day, in such hypothetical situations as a small white dog snipping
at my finger while I was out for a run in my neighborhood the other evening,
followed by a completely disproportional reaction on my part as I bawled my
eyes out, all the while trying to explain to the horrified owner of the small white
dog that it really didn’t hurt that badly, it’s just that “My dad is retiring…”
which completely explains my emotional breakdown in front of her house.
Hypothetically.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But God’s name be praised. Because the story doesn’t start
or end with me or with my parents. No, we are all just a piece of the story of
redemption, and it will go on and on until the coming of our King. What a privilege,
and what a comfort.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I couldn’t be more thankful for the legacy, the foundation,
and the continuing encouragement that God has given me through the two that I
call mom and dad; but more than that, I rejoice in the faithfulness, wisdom,
and love of the One who made the two.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-36948002320404020802019-09-02T09:30:00.002-04:002019-09-02T09:32:37.229-04:00When All the Things Change, Except for the One<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><i><span style="margin: 0px;">Homeostasis</span></i><span style="margin: 0px;">.</span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I still remember the first time I heard the word from a
straight-backed wooden desk.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">“<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;">the tendency toward a relatively
stable equilibrium between interdependent elements…</span><span style="color: #1a1a1a; margin: 0px;">the tendency of a system to maintain internal stability,
owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any situation or stimulus
that would tend to disturb its normal condition or function…”</span></span></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I might have jumped out of that desk and yelled if
not for the fear of living the rest of my high school days as the girl who,
well, jumped out of her desk and yelled during a lecture on homeostasis.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Homeostasis. It’s what our bodies do all the time –
seeking stability in the face of change, maintaining equilibrium and steadiness
and constancy. And it resonated with my 15 year old heart because it put a name
to the thing I had always sought. I had a new goal now.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">When I grow up, I want to be homeostatic.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I crave stability. I respect steadiness. I want to
be like a tree firmly planted, and I would rather everything around me value
that quality as well. Can everything please just stop changing?</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But it doesn’t. Because since the beginning of time
it has been winter, and then spring, and then summer, and then fall.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I remember the summer. I remember the hot, sticky
day at Vacation Bible School when I moved from the old life to the new. I
remember all of the hot, sticky days at Vacation Bible School after that year,
full of dried macaroni crafts and fruit juice and songs, where I learned to
love the stories; I remember precept day camps, full of colored pencils and
triple spaced papers, where I learned to love the words that contain life; I
remember the ice cream socials and watermelon seed-spitting contests and fourth
of July celebrations on the lake. Later I remember summer camps and mission
trips and growing into the faith that had sprouted in a little upstairs room at
Northside Baptist Church.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And you were always there. You, with your servants’
hearts and your laughter and your willingness to love a clumsy, sometimes “know-it-all”
preacher’s daughter with thick glasses and a sensitive heart.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You were there in the summer.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I remember the spring. I remember music – children’s
musicals filled with ridiculous costumes and dance moves, a band in youth group
that was just starting to feel our way through what it means to lead in
worship. My hands and heart beginning to discover keys and strings and putting
words to melody. Five part harmony, choir cantatas, solos. Pianos and organs
and guitars and voices.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">And you were always there. You, smiling through all
the awkwardness, encouraging me each step along the way, allowing me to make
mistakes and grow without feeling judged, giving me space to serve, teaching me
gently what it means to come together with the body of Christ week after week
and sing in spirit and in truth.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You were there in the spring.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">I remember the winter. I remember sickness and
surgery, I remember addiction and grief. I remember death. I remember conflict
and moral failures and fear that things would never be okay, but they always
were.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Because you were there. You were at the hospital
with support or at the house with a meal; you were writing letters or calling
on the phone. You were at the funerals. You were here, promising my family that
you wouldn’t leave or give up when disunity threatened our little piece of the
body of Christ.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You were there in the winter.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But there’s something about fall, isn’t there? We
came to you in the fall 32 years ago, and now we are leaving in the fall. I remember
you sending me off to New Orleans in the fall, with prayers and love and
excitement and support, and then you folding me back in a month later, during
one of the most uncertain times in my life. I remember having my first baby in
the fall, and your prayers holding me up even at such a distance until
everything was okay.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You were always there in the fall.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You have helped to raise me; you have taught me, challenged
me, planned my wedding, gave so generously when Spencer and I were living in
the “gospel ghetto” at Southeastern, welcomed my children just as you welcomed
me. You are home, and without you I would not be who I am.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But it’s time for the fall. Time for change. And
what I am coming to understand about the seasons is that everything under the
sun will change, but there is One who will not.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So I want to leave you with words that come from the
pen of an awkward, clumsy preacher’s daughter, who has learned, thanks to you,
how to rest not in my own ability to control the change in my life, but in the One
who has been writing this story all along…</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">How firm a foundation we hold in our faith<br />
From one generation to the next proclaim<br />
His steadfast mercy, His enduring love<br />
In every season, He remains the unchanging One.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Love,</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #222222; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The Middle Pickard</span></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-69511389314177280172019-07-05T18:18:00.003-04:002019-07-05T18:18:45.697-04:00Five Months to Change the World, or Maybe it Looks Different Than I Thought<span style="color: #0b0132; font-family: Roboto,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">As a child my expectations were never restrained even by
reasonable limitations. Ask me what I was going to be when I grew up, and on
any given day I could have told you with certainty that I would be anything
from an Olympic figure skater to a veterinarian. Never mind that I lived in middle
Georgia where frost on the grass counted as an ice storm or that I would climb
my Daddy like a tree if I even thought that any creature with more than two legs
was within seeing distance. No limits. I knew I could grow up to be whatever I
wanted to be. I knew I would grow up to change the world.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My career expectations grew slightly more judicious as I
aged, although Grammy-award winning musician or future wife of Prince William
occasionally snuck in. But even as maturity reigned me in, I still had confidence
that I could do something great for the kingdom of God. Whether through music,
or mission work, or public speaking, the platform I always had in my head was
large and visible and important. Whatever it was, I knew it would be a platform
to change the world.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The stages of life changed as I wondered and anticipated.
After high school? After college? When would my season arrive? The time of life
that I would take hold of that grand calling and make my mark in the world? I
studied, I served, I took hold of the opportunities in front of me all along
the way. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I was still waiting for the “big”
moment, the one job or opportunity that would make all the difference, that
would define my life, that would pull together all my desires and passions in
an eternally significant way. I was still waiting to change the world.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe it would be seminary. New Orleans. 2005. But Katrina
came and washed that one away. No, not seminary.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe it would be teaching. Second graders in a Title 1 school.
A chance to mold little lives into world changers themselves. But every evening
ended with me in tears and eating break-and-bake cookies in my bed, dreading
the next morning when I would have to go fail in the classroom again. So no, not
teaching.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maybe it would be marriage, and a second chance at seminary.
Maybe after three years I would finally earn my M.Div. and then I would be
ready. I would grasp my calling and the Lord would give me my place and I would
inspire and create and finally change the world.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Three months before graduation, an unexpected gift – We were
going to have a baby. From February to November she grew. I graduated. Spencer
got into PT school. We moved to the mountains. He started the program. I became
a mother.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Technically, between the time that I finished seminary and
the time that Claire was born, I had five months.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Five months to change the world.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">That’s a lot of pressure.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And guess what? Nothing extraordinary really happened in those
five months, except a lot of milkshakes because THE BABY NEEDS CALCIUM. <span style="margin: 0px;"> </span>Then on November 7, 2009, the world flipped
and I suddenly understood love and fear and beauty in a way I never had before.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Fast forward nearly ten years. Three little lives, not even
babies anymore. The youngest is now a pretty mature four years old, and today I
find myself saying things like, “Why on earth did you eat chicken feed?” And that
was not even directed at the youngest.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Suddenly, or maybe not suddenly but over my entire lifetime,
I am realizing something.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Changing the world looks different than I thought.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, there are names that conjure up the image “world
changer.” Explorers. Kings. Missionaries. We read about them and admire them
and are inspired by them. But how many humans in all the generations of the
history of the world have actually made it into the history books?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I grew up believing I could do anything, and that by doing
something extraordinary I would change the world. And maybe God still has that
something extraordinary for me to do. It’s not beyond Him. But more and more, I
am beginning to see that changing the world looks more like...</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i><span style="color: #001320; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">One generation shall commend your works to another,
and shall declare your mighty acts…</span></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i><span style="color: #001320; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">They will come and proclaim His righteousness to a
people yet unborn--all that He has done…</span></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i><span style="color: #001320; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">We will not hide them from their children, but will
declare to the next generation the praises of the Lord and His might, and the
wonders He has performed…</span></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #001320; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was never about me and what I was going to do for
God.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="color: #001320; margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It was always about being a smaller part of
something so much greater.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It has been His plan all along – to proclaim the faithfulness of
God to the next generation. It is a commission for us all, though how we go
about fulfilling it may look different. It may look like my friend in Texas who
is pouring out her whole life in a gospel-centered social ministry to immigrants.
It may look like my parents who have spent decades serving faithfully in the
local church. It may look like my brother who pastors or my sister who is
getting ready to foster. </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And for me, at this season, in this place, it may look like teaching
my children Scripture, helping them navigate what it looks like to love the Lord
and their neighbor in each situation, or yes, even explaining the folly of
trying the chicken’s food. And because the plan is so much bigger than me, and
because I know the Author of it all, and because we walk by faith and not by
sight, I have confidence that even though life so far has turned out
differently than I had imagined as an Olympic hopeful, I am in fact changing
the world.</span></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-76020750598010463072019-05-21T11:09:00.002-04:002019-05-21T11:18:24.554-04:00The Truth that is Outside of Myself
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">I unloaded my groceries onto the counter and listened to
them. Two sweet little hippie girls, probably 18 years old, with nose rings and
choppy hair and wide eyes, full of excitement and words and seemingly oblivious
to the thirty-something-year-old mom standing in front of them. They discussed
politics and books and travel and all the world of possibilities, chatting
ninety miles per hour as they absent-mindedly rang up and bagged my groceries.
I didn’t mind. I was them yesterday, it seems.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">Suddenly the cashier made eye contact and shook her head
sheepishly and said, “I’m sorry. We just got caught up in our conversation!” I
shoved my card into the reader. “No problem at all. I enjoyed listening to you.
I love to hear people who are passionate about life.”</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">A moment of silence, and then she leaned forward with glittering
eyes and said, “What about you? What are you passionate about?”</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">I can’t imagine a more golden opportunity. Isn’t this why I
live my life? For moments like this? To share the hope of the gospel and the
life that is found therein? But there, in Trader Joe’s in front of these two eager
girls…nothing. I froze.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">“What am I passionate about?” I repeated. “What <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">am</i> I passionate about?” and I stumbled
around and ended up say something about my kids and homeschooling and
education. And those sweet girls nodded and helped me redeem it by expounding
on the wonders of sparking excitement about learning in my kids and the
opportunity to reclaim my own education in the process. And I smiled weakly and
wished them well and then left them behind to their spirited conversation while
I walked out the door and listened to the question still ringing in my ears. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What about you? What are you passionate
about?</i></span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">Every day since then, I have thought about those girls and
their questions and pondered. It’s not that I don’t know what I’m passionate
about. I do. It’s Jesus, and the gospel, and redemption and freedom and
forgiveness and life. It’s the pervasive nature of living for the glory of God,
as a disciple of Christ. It is hope for the individual and hope for the
nations. I think the problem for me in that moment was that I couldn’t distill all
these things into a few, well-thought words for these beautiful strangers. I
felt like I had failed, and I didn’t want it to happen again.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">A few weeks ago you and I paced around our front yard
probably three hundred times. You were trying to convince me of the utter
futility of math, and I was trying to convince you of Romans 8:28. You were so
fervent in your arguments, so sure that there is nothing good or fruitful about
your having to complete your math assignment every.single.day. So frustrated by
that day’s assignment and the problems you were getting wrong. So sure that you
should throw in the towel. Such rage against the machine. And I was just as
dogged in my attempts to instill a more eternal perspective. Just as passionate
about convincing you, not just of the spiraling nature of math and the constant
building upon what you have already learned and the relevance and value of math
as a discipline, but mostly of the bigger picture – the hope that regardless of
the practical advantages of doing your math every day, there is a bigger story
being written. That God’s promises are true regardless of how we feel or what
we see in front of us. That even if you don’t think any good can come out of
doing your assignments, God has utterly promised to use even that hated math
for good in your life. To produce character. To grow faith. To make you more
like Christ.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">It was a battle of the wills between two equally stubborn
souls, and neither of us emerged as the clear victor. But I did emerge with an
answer.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">What about you? What
are you passionate about?</span></i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">If ever faced with that question again, I know the answer,
thanks to a debate about math. What am I passionate about? </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">Truth. Truth that is outside of ourselves, and how we feel,
and what we think. Truth that is valid all the time and for everyone, no matter
what we believe about it. Truth that stands. That’s what I am passionate about.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">For you, today, that truth is that God is using math as a
part of the “all things” to work together for your good. You can claim that
truth no matter how you feel, believe it no matter what your eyes tell you – or
you can ignore it, forget, refuse to be comforted by it. It doesn’t depend on
you. And I want you to know that the seasons and the circumstances and the
struggles may change, but the truth will not. It is outside of yourself.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">So when the trials seem unbearable and the loneliness too
deep… </span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">He is good.</span></i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">When the grip of sin seems too strong and you fail once
again…when you are sure that you are too broken to be loved or used for His
glory…</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">He is enough.</span></i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">When the path seems winding and your days run together…when
the tasks before you feel pointless and you are overwhelmed by the mundane…</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">He is wise.</span></i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">When things seem to be spiraling out of control…when you
look to your right and your left and see chaos, and nothing is making sense or
coming together like you think it should…</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">He is sovereign.</span></i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">When it looks like the enemy is winning…when people
disappoint you and even betray you…when the ones you love the most are being
hurt, and evil seems to be going unnoticed…</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"></i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: calibri;">He is just.</span></i></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">Shepherd. Redeemer. Counselor. King. Avenger. He is for us,
not against us; redemption has been accomplished, the debt paid, the power of
sin canceled; He is working all things together for the good of those who love
Him, causing trials to lead to character to lead to hope; He is not unaware of
evil and is not mocked. A man will reap what he sows. Faithfulness will be
rewarded. The gospel will triumph, the saints will persevere. These things,
they are revealed by our very Creator in His word and they stand outside of us.
They are true no matter what we feel or think or see. They are true whether
people acknowledge them or not.</span></div>
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: calibri;">And next time I see those Trader Joe’s check-out girls, I
know what I will tell them: What is my passion? It is the truth that is outside
of myself.</span></div>
Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-65667650251502172772019-04-24T20:24:00.002-04:002019-04-24T20:30:32.104-04:00The Things I Think I Will Remember<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You said so many things, so clearly, and
they didn’t get it. Things like, “The Son of Man must be delivered into the
hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and on the third day rise again.” Completely
ambiguous and non-specific, right? But they just didn’t get it. Later they did.
Later they remembered. </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">At first
His disciples did not understand these things, but after Jesus was glorified
they remembered what had been done to Him, and they realized that these very
things had also been written about Him.</span></span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">When it was all said and done, they <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">remembered</i> and it all came together and
made perfect sense. But as obvious as the message seems to us on this side of
the cross, to them it wasn’t clear at all. At least not at first. Not while
they were in the middle of it.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Today I am in the middle of it. Today
I can’t always remember the things that I think I will remember when today is
over. Not when I am bandaging cuts that occurred after someone fell off the
windowsill because obviously that is a very good spot to stand to watch the
stump-grinder get rid of the remains of the tree in the front yard, or when I am
answering questions like, “Mom, did I get all the ketchup out of my hair?” or “Mom,
watch this! Are you looking? Are you looking now? Are you looking now???”</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">But one day, when the power struggles
have faded to a memory and I am no longer finding piles of 8 towels used to dry
off one small human being after a water-hose fight in the backyard, these are
the things I think I will remember, and I think I will wonder why they seemed
so hazy to me at all during this season called “today.”</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="margin: 0px;">You say, “</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="margin: 0px;">Remain in Me, and I will remain in you. Just
as no branch can bear fruit by itself unless it remains in the vine, neither
can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine and you are the
branches. The one who remains in Me, and I in him, will bear much fruit. For
apart from Me you can do nothing</span></i><span style="margin: 0px;">.”
And I hear You, but still I find myself running back to my own efforts and depending
on my sub-par commitment to my Erin Condren designer calendar that looks pretty
good through the first half of February, and then from mid-February to now looks
kind of pitiful which is then reflected in my slightly overdramatic response to
the mess in my house that obviously isn’t getting cleaned because I haven’t written
it down in my calendar which was once so full of potential. Fail. Fail. Fail. And
You are whispering over me, “Abide, abide, abide.” One day I think I will
remember that and I will exhale and see with my own eyes that it really is the
better way.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="margin: 0px;">You say, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“</i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="margin: 0px;">Beloved…be
steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in
the Lord your labor is not in vain.</span>”</i><span style="margin: 0px;"> And I hear You, but still I reach my
2:00 PM slump and have a moment of panic wondering what in the world I am doing
with my life. And I repeat things like, “Keep your chair on the floor” and “Think
before you speak” and “Let’s try that again” and “Think before you speak” and “What
do you think you need to do right now? That’s right, let’s go apologize” and “How
about this, let’s just don’t speak at all right now.” And I wonder, is it even
making a difference? And You are whispering over me, “It matters.” One day I
think I will remember that and see that it really does.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I say, “What must I do to do the works of God?” Must I rise early
and go for a prayer walk and study the Word before anyone stirs, and what if I
fail? Or what if I don’t feel the way I think I’m supposed to when I do those
things? Do I need to say yes to all the opportunities to do good, and if I don’t
will I mess up my children forever? What are the works of God and am I doing them
well or am I doing them at all? What if I fail? And You say, “<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The work of God is this: to believe in the
One He has sent.”</i></span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> I hear You and I want to embrace it and find
freedom in it and still I find myself searching for a more involved, likely
more self-sufficient answer. I wonder, what else do I need to do to make this life
work? And You are whispering over me, “Believe. Just believe.” One day I think
I will remember that and I will see that it was all that really ever mattered,
because “this is eternal life, that we know You, the only true God, and Jesus
Christ whom You sent.” </span></span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="line-height: 115%; margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="margin: 0px;">I hear many things. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Love covers a multitude of sins…Let us not </i></span></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="margin: 0px;">grow weary</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> while </span><span style="margin: 0px;">doing good</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">, for in due season we shall reap, if we </span><span style="margin: 0px;">do not</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; float: none; margin: 0px; orphans: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> lose heart…In
Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision counts for anything, but
only faith working through love</span></span></i><span style="margin: 0px;">.</span> One day I think all these
things will come together in a different way. But I am not living in One Day. I
am living in Today. In the Middle, with messy little people and more dirty
laundry than I understand. And as far as my mind and my heart can comprehend, I
will hold onto these truths and live in them as deeply as I can, even now, even
if I cannot see how they all will come together in the end. Because that’s what
faith is – being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span></div>
Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-18102925207118594542019-03-21T22:05:00.000-04:002019-03-21T22:05:05.766-04:00The Heart Wrenching Work of Not Fixing You
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It happens when you set your jaw and narrow your eyes and I
can tell that it’s going to be a longer battle than it has to be. When I know that
it is fear that drives you and that the stubbornness you brought with you into
this world can be a weapon for good or for destruction, and I can’t make you
choose which one.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It happens when your perception of yourself is already
skewed, and instead of seeing your worth you only see your failure to measure
up to everyone around you. When I can clearly see your beauty and your value and
the lies that pile themselves up around you and inside you, and I can tell you
the difference but I can’t make you believe the thing that is true.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It happens when you fail and you hide behind your fig leaves
and it takes you a solid hour to get up the courage to actually confess what
you did, and when it’s over you are still weighed down. When we celebrate the
strength and courage that it took to admit your mistake, and we tell you of the
freedom of being in the light and not hiding, and still I cannot make you feel
un-sad.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I can’t fix you, and it’s the hardest thing about my life.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The things I desire for you…peace, freedom, confidence…those
are things I can’t deliver. I can say the words. I can fill up the room with
truth. I can write it on the walls and sing it over your beds and read it at
the table. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I can want it for you so earnestly.</i></b></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But I can’t be your savior.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So tonight I will lift up my eyes to the mountains.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Where does my help
come from?</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Where can I find the energy to keep doing good? The faith to
sow and water and nurture and not have one ounce of power over the outcome? The
courage to smile at a future full of unknowns? The strength to bear with you in
joy and in sorrow? To listen and love without condition, knowing that you are each
a soul outside of myself, that I cannot and should not control?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">My help comes from the
Lord</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Lord. Creator. Sustainer. Redeemer. Yes, Redeemer of
mistakes and of sinners and of failures. Full of mercy and compassion. Teacher. Burden-bearer. Wisdom-giver. Lover of my soul and lover of yours. Savior. King. Sovereign,
wise and good. So much better than I.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Maker of heaven and earth</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yes, Maker of heaven and earth. Maker of me, and Maker of
you. Maker who has given me the task, the heart-wrenching task, of loving and
teaching and guiding and delighting in you, but not of fixing you…but who has
also given me the most beautiful hope of trusting His infinitely more capable hand,
and resting in He who loves you more deeply than I ever can.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<br /></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-73888570429719218662019-02-06T08:23:00.002-05:002019-02-06T08:29:01.241-05:00Under the Sun, It All Comes Undone<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Vanity of vanities.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have seen some things under the sun.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have seen a sink that fills to the brim with dirty dishes
46 times per day. I have done three loads of laundry only to find that every
hamper in the house is still overflowing. I have swept the floor and still found
it covered with crumbs. I have seen 800 socks missing their friends.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Vanity</i>.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have done e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g I know to do to be on time
and have still spent an entire Tuesday running late. I have cleaned off the countertops one evening and then spent the next day making breakfast and
packing lunches and cooking supper and running into the house to make three
snacks before we go anywhere and gone to bed that night with full
countertops again. I have made breakfast and packed lunches
and cooked supper and run into the house to make three snacks before we go
anywhere and then closed my eyes every time I heard the words “I’m still hungry.”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Chasing after the wind.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I have seen bath time followed by mud pies. I have seen
conversations ending unresolved. Discipline ending without restoration. Effort
poured in, fruit not blooming yet. Shoes and half-sketched pictures on the
floor in every room. 2 hours cleaning out the minivan, and full of coats and
magazines and candy wrappers and leaking water bottles 2 days later.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The sun has risen, and I have seen some things under the
sun. Like my to-do list. Like all the things I didn’t get done the day before,
or all the things I did do that have been undone.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Because it seems like everything I do gets undone.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Laundry. Dishes. Meals. Advice. Correction.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Martha, Martha.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I woke up under the sun and listened.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You are worried and
bothered about so many things..</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I know, Lord. But it’s so much. And it all comes undone.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But only one thing
matters…</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But I only have ten minutes at most before they wake up,
before the list multiplies. If I don’t get ahead now, I’ll be behind all day.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">It is the good part, and
the only thing that will not be taken away…</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And that is where I stop.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">It will not be taken away?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Everything else comes undone, but sitting at His feet…listening
to Him whisper His truth over me…getting on my knees…pouring out my heart…burying
my face in His word…finding out who He is and who I am…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">It won’t be taken away. It infuses all the other things with
meaning. It frees me to serve in the futility of this life with hope. It
corrects my vision. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So when the tasks overwhelm, and the day stretches on, help
me to choose the good part. To trade a few moments of productivity for stillness.
To trust enough to lay down the list and sit at Your feet. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 10.66px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">It’s the one thing that won’t come undone.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike><span style="font-family: "calibri";"></span>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-64979978220861768672018-10-01T20:22:00.000-04:002018-10-01T20:22:07.679-04:00The Day That You Did Not Like Me at All
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I would say that we had a pretty smooth day today, as
evidenced by the following annotations found on your schoolwork from this
morning…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmE_89OI-zeXbd371TQ9v7DM3VGK4f5nvuYgoCwzdMaTE2U8yahVOuC_FiQSMwF-fyi6psssVA4wEBPtmolEsOag3TyxgwdeiV2JbzrcWOVY0pnyRFQIVrPuit9gYaKfYw_2E9jesmASs/s1600/IMG_20181001_102250%257E2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmE_89OI-zeXbd371TQ9v7DM3VGK4f5nvuYgoCwzdMaTE2U8yahVOuC_FiQSMwF-fyi6psssVA4wEBPtmolEsOag3TyxgwdeiV2JbzrcWOVY0pnyRFQIVrPuit9gYaKfYw_2E9jesmASs/s320/IMG_20181001_102250%257E2.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD1Bg8DPA7Wy4uGDF6D_0ewIErRcucqtAfzQznbemSJm3CbU_SHh0j_puzgBVlv6Q08nU7vXXpPpVifyW2hvhb4W2DN74ztoQ0wJU4G_DexirOg7Rav6_9sgmuRc2H7_9yijh78FIv_Po/s1600/IMG_20181001_102149%257E2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjD1Bg8DPA7Wy4uGDF6D_0ewIErRcucqtAfzQznbemSJm3CbU_SHh0j_puzgBVlv6Q08nU7vXXpPpVifyW2hvhb4W2DN74ztoQ0wJU4G_DexirOg7Rav6_9sgmuRc2H7_9yijh78FIv_Po/s320/IMG_20181001_102149%257E2.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No. No, it was not a smooth day. It was a long, rough day.
It was a day that you did not like me at all.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the day that you did not like me at all, I saw you. I saw
the epic struggle of the ages settled into your eight year old eyes, the
dissonance between what you want life to be and what life is. I saw your
frustration with your own limitations underneath your protests. I saw how
unfair it all felt to you, and I know. I know because I was born with the same loathing
of anything that feels unfair. The difference is that I’ve had 35 years to
learn that my definition of “fair” isn’t always accurate. You don’t have that
advantage yet, and you are still at the front of a long road to attain it.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the day that you did not like me at all, I prayed for
you. I prayed at every tense moment and in between. I prayed for your heart and
for my sanity and for wisdom and patience and understanding. I prayed that you
would find rest from this struggle in Christ. That you would grow in grace and
knowledge and truth. That you would see foolishness for what it is. That you
would remember and believe that you are fully loved.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the day that you did not like me at all, I needed Jesus
as much as you did. This parenting journey has brought me to the end of myself
more than anything in my life. It has brought me face to face with my own
weakness and fear and insecurities and selfishness. I’ll let you in on a secret
that’s not really a secret at all – I don’t really know what to do 80% of the
time. But what I do know is that the Lord of Hosts is with us, and the God of
Jacob is our stronghold. I know that He is perfect in all of His ways and that
He turns ashes to beauty and that He is the very definition of love. I know
that He is our Shepherd and Counselor and King. I know that He redeems us from
the pit and that His faithfulness is great and His mercies are new every
morning.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">On the day that you did not like me at all, I loved you. I
loved you imperfectly, yes, but fiercely nonetheless. I loved you, not because of what you do,
but because you are mine. I am not disappointed in you at this end of this day;
I am <b><i>for</i></b> you, and you bring immeasurable joy to my heart. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tomorrow is a new day with new mercies. No matter what it
holds, I am most privileged to be your mom, and to lean into this journey of
grace and redemption alongside of you.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love you today, and
I love you tomorrow; I love you as deep as the sea…I love you in joy, and I
love you in sorrow; you can always come home to me…</span></i></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-74260071025701026072018-09-25T22:28:00.000-04:002018-09-25T22:32:53.136-04:00On Guitars and Motherhood<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">On a hot Friday in July I turned seventeen. I walked in the front
door after a spending a week at a youth camp in Laguna Beach and found sitting on
the couch a brown acoustic guitar adorned with a pink bow. It was a gift that
would change my life.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I still remember and am sure that my parents also remember
(bless their souls) those first days and weeks with “Daisy,” as I promptly
named her. I remember exactly how my fingers awkwardly walked to the right
places on the right strings – index on second string, second fret; middle on
first string, third fret; ring on bottom string, third fret – and pressed
painfully into the steel as I played my first G-D-Em-C progression over. and
over. and over. and over again. “Jesus Lover of my Soul.” There’s a good chance
I never played that song again after the seven thousand I played it that first
two weeks.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">What amazes me now is how I don’t think about it anymore. I
see a “G” on a chord sheet and my fingers involuntarily end up at the right places
on the right strings. I hear the music fall into the minor third and without
thinking I find my fingers falling into place. Not painstakingly walking into
place anymore. Not mechanically counting strings and frets. Not pausing between
chords to find my way.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The other night I sat in the driver’s seat and sighed. You
probably heard me whisper, “I feel like a playwright.”</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "calibri";">You probably also had no clue what I meant,
but that’s okay. See, I had spent all day writing lines for you. </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">No, honey, you need to say “May I please
have that when you are done?” instead of grabbing it out of his hands. Buddy, you
need to say it like this - “Where are we going?” instead of “Wheeeeerrrrre are we
goooooooooooooooooooiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnggggguuuuhhhhh?” Try it this way.
Say this instead. </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">For the love</span></b><span style="font-family: "calibri";">.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">There are times when I wonder if it’s going to bear fruit. I
want to get to the heart of the matter every time, and I wonder if this rote
overwriting of your dialogue is even helpful at all. But then I think about my
little aching fingers walking to the notes…and then slowly, slowly,
remembering. Remembering where to go, until it was second nature. And then –
only then – being able to enjoy the beauty of the music that was being created.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So much of this mothering is maneuvering awkwardly to help
you find the right notes. So often I do feel like we are playing the same chord
progression for the one hundred millionth time. But this uncomfortable, tedious
process – it’s leading to something better. I know it is, because He who began
a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Christ.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">So even though sometimes I do sit in the driver’s seat and
sigh, or sneak into the craft room and pretend like I just can’t hear World War
III breaking out in the living room, I want you to know that I am most privileged
to help you find your way in these days. And one day, I pray the notes and
chords will be second nature, and the music your lives produce for the King
will be just right.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-19005839547814122552018-05-14T20:04:00.001-04:002018-05-14T20:05:28.607-04:00When Mother's Day Ends Unprettily<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Sometimes Mother’s Day is full of flowers and lazy
afternoons and all the kids smiling and getting along marvelously.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And then sometimes Mother’s Day comes at the end of a very
long and intensely busy week and it ends with me falling asleep in the middle
of reading a book aloud to you at 7:00 PM and then waking up to hear screaming
protests from every.single.bedroom in the house because Daddy is trying to make
you go to bed even though you are NOT TIRED AT ALL. And then the next day is
Monday and my goodness is it ever Monday. And Monday is full of headaches and
whining and quarreling and emotional spirals and a mom who is desperately
awaiting the next bedtime.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is tired, and sometimes I forget to see the hope.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is frustrating, and sometimes I forget to see the
point.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is messy, and sometimes I forget to see the
beauty.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is slow, and sometimes I forget how quickly the
years will pass.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is helpless, and sometimes I forget to lean on
grace.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">But you. You are spent and sobbing through yawns and
fighting sleep with every ounce of your six year old strength tonight. You are
outside of me, and I cannot tune your heart or make you see reason. You are
outside of me, but you are a part of me, and I love you so much that it aches.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is tired, but it is staying up and whispering
words of hope and promise into the dark over your sleeping form.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is frustrating, but it is embracing the long view
and knowing that the good Shepherd never lets the journey go to waste.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is messy, but it is willingly entering into the mess
beside you and entrusting my mistakes into the hands of a Potter who turns ashes
into beauty.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is slow, but it is living in the day as long as
it is called “today”, and walking by faith the path laid out beforehand.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Motherhood is helpless, but it is not. It is depending on
the Helper who loves you better than I ever can. It is crying out every morning
for wisdom and every night for mercy. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I know today was a hard day for you. It was hard for me too.
But even on a hard Monday, you are full of hope and purpose and beauty and grace.
You are full of the image of God and motherhood is growing with you in that
image. Motherhood is hard, but I want you to know - even on the hardest Monday after Mother's Day - that you are worth it. </span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-7537309307934700942018-02-20T19:23:00.001-05:002018-02-20T19:43:43.280-05:00Daily Bread<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">With temperatures above 80 and a layer of pollen settling on
the minivan, it must be February in middle Georgia. Even as I write this and
the sun sets behind the fence, the music filling my ears is that of you three
and your daddy playing a game of softball in the backyard. A moment of bliss
for you and a moment of quiet for me, and I am savoring it in its fullness.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Right now, it is my portion. It is my daily bread.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Give us this day…</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">To the right of our piano hangs a picture of a twenty-year
old girl in a rib-knit tank top and a pair of very impressive cargo pants,
sitting on a street corner with a guitar in her hand and a case open for tips
on the sidewalk. She is carefree and laughing as she sings to whomever will
listen. So happy. Probably because she can spend three hours straight in her
dorm room writing songs to her heart’s content without anyone asking her for
help to go tee-tee. She didn’t know how that would change over the next decade…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Last week I sat at the piano and tried to play a song that
has been writing itself in my heart for a year. I tried to play it for three
hours. The same three hours that my dorm room offered for my songs when I was
twenty. But can you guess, over those three hours, how many times I actually
played through the entire song?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">ZERO.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Feeding your apparently starving bellies…playing the referee
in a crucial battle over who had “it” first…answering urgent questions about
the size of molecules in a carbohydrate…staunching the flow of blood from
tongue-wound on the trampoline…lots of really thrilling things, but not
finishing a song on the piano.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Give us this day…</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">At twenty it was uninterrupted time to think and write and
sing and contemplate life and the future. At thirty-four it is the very
opposite of that. But at every season it is what I need, no less and no more.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Give us this day our
daily bread.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Like the children of Israel sometimes we try to gather too
much, think that the manna on the ground today won’t be there tomorrow, wonder
if the Provider will really keep His promises, if His mercies really are new
every morning. But when we do that, the manna just spoils. Because we don’t know
what we need today. But He does.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Whatever we need to face this very day, it is exactly what
we have. His grace is sufficient. His mercies are new. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I hope that you will always remember that. Because there
will be days when your portion seems too heavy, days when death or poverty or loss
are crouching at your doorstep. There will be days when your bread seems too
mundane, too far from your dreams or expectations. There will be days when the
manna feels like exactly what you want and desire and need, and days when it
feels like the last thing in the world you want to gather again in the morning.
</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">But it is enough. It is good and acceptable and perfect and
enough. And that is because the Giver is good and acceptable and perfect and
enough. </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">So whether I am singing in front of a crowd or wiping your noses or explaining why it wasn't a good idea to poke your own eye with a carrot,
whether I am celebrating in joy or grieving beside the grave, I will chase
after contentment in the daily bread, the portion that I am given by my Shepherd.
He is a good Shepherd, and it is a good portion. </span></span><br />
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><br /></span></span>
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";"><i>Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."</i></span></span></div>
Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-85473860440120041292018-01-14T21:07:00.000-05:002018-01-14T21:15:11.693-05:00That Which is Perfect<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I walked into the room, the steady rhythm of the ventilator whirring
in the background. You looked more like you than I thought you would. I touched
your hand and leaned over and talked in your ear. I sang “It is Well” and “Jesus
Paid it All” and I threatened to sing Aerosmith’s “Dream On” as loudly as I
could if you didn’t wake up. I prayed over you and bossed you around and told
you to try to move your arm – no, try harder – try one more time. I told you
that a lot of people were there to see you and could you please just…wake…up…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The nurse came in and told me I had to leave now, and so I
leaned over and whispered one last time…”I love you…”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">The waiting room was full of people who love you too and so
we joined hands and prayed and sang. We asked for a miracle and we believed it
and we let the words fall from our lips: </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">When
peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll…it is
well, it is well with my soul…</span></i><span style="font-family: "calibri";"> We sang it with our mouths and agreed with
it in our hearts.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">An hour ago my Dad called and told me the news. It isn’t
good, and it’s not what I expected.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I expected a miracle.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Whatever you ask in my
name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And so we asked. I asked. I asked in Jesus’ name, that you
would be healed and live to tell of His glory and sing His praises for the rest
of your days here on earth. And I asked for it to be done according to His
will, and how could it not?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The will of God…that
which is good…</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Is this not good? To ask for healing for a husband, a
father, a brother, an uncle? To ask the Lord of life to restore life to a
broken body? To give opportunity, as Jesus did for the blind beggar, so that that
the works of God would be displayed in him?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The will of God…that
which is good and acceptable…</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Is this not acceptable? To pray, not out of selfishness or
worldliness or faithlessness, but to ask as children to a Father? To pray in faith
and expectation? To pray to Jehovah Rophe, the God who heals, to do His mighty work
for His own name’s sake?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">The will of God…that
which is good and acceptable…and perfect.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And there I stop, because there I end. I can ask for what is
good. I know what is acceptable. But perfect?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Only He knows.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Only He knows the end from the beginning. Only He knows all
the possibilities and their outcomes. Only He knows not only what is good, but
what is best; not only what is acceptable, but what is perfect.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">Today He knew what I did not. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">And so we entrust you into the hands of the One who made
you, the One who formed your inmost parts, who knit you together in your mother’s
womb, the One who loves you more than we ever could and who died to grant you complete and eternal life and healing. We will not lose hope, for hope is an anchor, and it does not depend on
the outcomes we can see with our frail eyes. No, hope runs much deeper than
what we can fathom. And when our prayers and the answers don’t seem to line up,
we will know – we will solidly know – that His will is better than ours.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">It is that which is good…that which is acceptable…that which
is perfect.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-20490269835040200072017-12-15T14:16:00.000-05:002017-12-15T14:16:08.926-05:00On Messiness and Christmas
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I sat in my floor with the snowflake wrapping paper and scissors
and tape spread out, carefully set the box on top of the paper, and began the
first fold…and then I heard it.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Tap tap tap tap….</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My favorite 5 year old footsteps running toward my door, and
I knew without a doubt what was coming next. Big eyes and an eager smile popping
into my room and an enthusiastic “What are you – OH!!! Can I help???”</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And in one moment in time, I took a deep breath and blew it
out, along with all my desires to do this my way, to do it with three folds and
one piece of tape like those magical clerks at department stores can do it. I
don’t even think they are real people. But you – you with your enthusiasm and
your irrepressible desire to help – you are real.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So I chose you, and I chose super long pieces of tape and
really funky creases and wrinkles and I chose a little bit of chaos and a really
messily wrapped gift and I chose joy. I chose you.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Sometimes when I am plowing my way through the day I am
struck by how untidy my life is. And I don’t just mean my house, because let’s
be honest, that was rarely tidy even before you three came along. It’s my
moments – they are just wrapped up in messiness. It’s a bowl of rice spilled on
the floor, it’s the horrors of potty training, it’s muddy footprints on the
floor, it’s one thing after another. It’s putting out quarrels and sorting
through hurt feelings and dealing with attitudes and really bad judgment. It’s
having little helpers in the kitchen which is such a beautiful notion until the
flour gets knocked off the counter or the milk gets spilled.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">In truth I sometimes desire to escape from the messiness.
Expectations and dreams never include that part. Ideas of motherhood can be so sweet
and tidy until you are in the trenches with the diapers and the spills and the
disbelief over the fact that your kids thought it was a good idea to do a
science experiment involving dish detergent, baking soda, vinegar, and BLACK
PAINT on the coffee table.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But here’s the thing. The other day we were at church early
for band practice and while you three were running around the sanctuary dancing
to the music, Mr. Nick had to move the communion table to get to the wires for
the sound system. There was a beautiful nativity set on the table, and to keep
it from falling over when he moved the table Mr. Nick laid the Mary and Joseph
figures down until he could get it back in place. My eyes moved from the
nativity scene to you and back again, and all I could think was, <i>This is so much
more accurate.</i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The idealistic picture of the nativity is baby Jesus in the
manger, with Mary and Joseph serenely kneeling beside Him, lifting their hands
in meaningful – and very tidy – worship. But when I looked at the scene on the
communion table, I saw Mary lying face down in the ground beside the manger,
and I thought – </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yep. That’s about right.
I have had three babies myself and that is a very accurate depiction of what I
felt like doing after childbirth. I feel you, girl.</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> And Joseph – he was
lying flat on his back – and I thought, </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yep.
Probably passed out from fear or trauma or exhaustion or all three.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Christmas, with all of its lights and music and nicely
wrapped presents, did not have a tidy beginning. The Word – the God of order
and life and harmony – emptied Himself, wrapped Himself in flesh, and
entered into our world in the messiest way possible. Childbirth is already
saturated with blood and sweat and pain, but in a barn? And to be laid in a
feeding trough while Joseph cleaned Mary and knelt over her, desperately
praying that she would be all right, that <i>they</i> would be all right?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is how He chose to dwell among us. He knows our
messiness – He lived our messiness. He entered into it and He grew up in it and
He died in it. He overcame it. He is our compassionate High Priest because </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">He lived it</span></i><span style="font-family: Calibri;">.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You are five years old and full of life and wonder. Messes,
I think, do not bother you as much right now as they do me. But as you grow and
life gets more complicated – as relationships become muddled and plans get
thwarted and unexpected hardships arise – I want you to remember how Jesus came
into the world. Because His name is Emmanuel – not God Far Removed From Us –
but God With Us. Even and especially in our messiness.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-54282513200682171862017-10-14T09:23:00.000-04:002017-10-14T09:23:57.163-04:00Campfires
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I love the chill that comes suddenly when the sun goes down
in the mountains. The campfires are crackling against it, and you three and
your cousin are laughing as you throw sticks and pine straw and anything else you
can find into the flames. I am watching you carefully and regretting dressing
you in highly flammable pj’s, but your Daddy simply says “Respect the fire” and
then smiles and tells me not to worry. I try to settle in and take his advice.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Respect the fire.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is so much I want you to know. My heart aches with the
fullness of it all. Do you see the fire? Feel it? Do you know we can’t live
without it? It is survival in a bitterly cold land. It is light that cannot be
overwhelmed by the darkest night. Do you see its beauty? Its brightness and its
depth? Do you sense its power? Its ability to consume, its danger and
intensity? Do you love it and respect it and fear it and delight in it?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I spend so much of my life drawing lines, building walls. I
tell you what is appropriate and what is not, what you may say and do and what
is unacceptable speech and behavior. I give you laws and rules and sometimes it
feels like it’s working and mostly it feels like it is not.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I know, and have known for so long, that the rules are
not enough. I do, I know it with all of my being. The law can’t save. The rules
are so necessary for life to work, but they won’t change your heart. And I am
torn with the weight of it, because even as I correct and train and discipline,
what my soul is desperately crying out is for you to respect the fire.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Our God is a consuming
fire.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I stare into the crackling flames and remember who He is. He
is life and light and we can’t live without Him. He is holy and powerful and if
we get too close to Him without the covering of Christ’s righteousness we will
die. He is uncontainable and wonderful and comforting and terrifying all at the
same time. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When you hit your sister or lie to my face or complain about
everything under the sun, what I most desperately want is for you to respect
the fire. Throwing rules and consequences at you will contain the situation but
it won’t transform you. Nothing in your heart will change until you come face
to face with the Maker, and see His beauty and power and goodness and justice,
and realize that in your sin you will be consumed by this fire unless you take the
merciful provision of forgiveness accomplished at the cross. And then you can
delight in His presence instead of being consumed by it, and the fruit of your
life will be produced by something so much deeper than what I can manipulate
from the outside.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">All these things are swirling around in my heart at the
campfire tonight, and you guys are just laughing in delight as the pine straw
goes up in flames. I laugh too, and while I once again find myself in humble
awareness of my helplessness to transfer the life-giving fear of the Lord into
your hearts, I also once again find peace in knowing that I am not the author
of your story. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">No, I am not, but I know who is. </span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-73807906029113068732017-08-23T22:14:00.002-04:002017-08-23T22:14:27.036-04:00Some Things that You Told Me
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The past week has been strange, as our roles switched for
the first time in 34 years and suddenly I was telling you what to do. Things
like eat. And get up, walk. And you can do it, and stop letting the pain win,
and drink water and walk some more.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And you told me some things too. Things like stop talking.
And that I am mean and potentially a Nazi. And that I’d better not leave you to
go back home but that when I do, you are going to change the locks on all the
doors. And then there was the proud moment when you took my hat off my head and
covered my face with it to make me stop telling you what to do.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(Since sarcasm has always been a valid form of communication
in our house, I will not take any of that personally.)</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But in the middle of the night, when you would wake and the
pain would seize your leg and your back and your mind, and you would start to
drown in that abyss, and the cries would start to rise up from your gut; when I
tried to fight that battle for you the only way I knew how, by asking
questions, anything to get your mind off of the nightmare; and when you
submitted and opened your mouth and let the words come out instead of the sobs;
in those hours between midnight and dawn, you told me some other things.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me a story about a boy born in the prelude to the
Great Depression, whose father couldn’t hold a job and whose mother waited
until all eleven of her children finished eating each night before she would
make her own plate, if there was any food left at all.</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me about how that boy grew into
coarse man named Paul who was funny and smart but who loved the bottle and the
cigarettes and the lust of the eyes, whose hands could craft bookshelves and
houses and entire complexes, but who didn’t know how to begin to love the
people who lived in his own little four room house.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me a story about a woman who was at once both meek
and strong, whose soul was gentle and whose heart was determined to love and be
devoted to the man who did not yet know how to love, or how to be faithful at
all. You told me how those two very different people met and married within six
months, and had a little girl fifteen months later, and had a little boy
fifteen months after that. You told me how that nineteen-year-old bride always
had food on the table at supper even though it was mostly out of a can, and how
she had her two children in church from the time they could leave the house, and
how she took in her five year old nephew for two years so that he would have a
fighting chance at education and life, and how when Paul was out of town for
months at a time on business, this shy woman asked her neighbor for some
pointers and then drove herself to the DMV and got her driver’s license, only
telling her husband about it after the fact.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me about the time that Paul woke from a drunken
stupor to find himself standing over a bloody body, only to find out that he
had come within inches of killing a man with his bare hands. How from that day
forward he never tasted a drop of alcohol again, and how he knew in his spirit
and declared with his mouth that if he ever took one more glass of it, he would
never be able to stop. And so he didn’t ever take that one more glass. You told
me how a few years later he went into a fit of coughing and decided that night
that he would never smoke another cigarette, and how he gave his last box of
the things to his sister-in-law for Christmas. And how years after that, when
he suddenly realized that his lust of the eyes was really unfaithfulness of the
heart to that gentle, strong woman who loved him, he got rid of every one of
those magazines and never looked at them again.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">He was changing. He was not yet changed, but he was on the
road. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me about the little boy who was born second to Paul
and that beautiful soul, how he was funny and smart and talented. How he played
tennis until he beat everyone in town, and then he stopped. How he was an
Olympic-in-training runner until he couldn’t find anyone around who could run
faster than him, and then he stopped. How he played guitar until he wrote two
beautiful songs, and then he stopped. How he loved and lost, and how he lived
for years alone until he met the one his heart really loved, and how he adored Paul
and was like him in all the best ways.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me all this through the eyes of that first one, the
little girl with dark hair and green eyes, the little girl who always felt a
little lost. The one who wanted to be a dancer but was afraid to try too hard,
because what if she failed? The one with the beautiful voice who sang in the
choir and at church and in the recording studio with those two songs her
brother gave her to sing before he stopped. The one who wanted to believe but
questioned whether she had wanted it right, had said it right, had prayed it
right, and what if she hadn’t? The one who grew up with a coarse Paul and a
gentle, strong mother.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me about how this shy girl grew up into a shy
teenager who loved to go on mission trips and who graduated from high school,
surpassing her strong and gentle mother’s tenth grade education. You told me
how when she was nineteen she had to receive a blood transfusion after an
artery burst and how Paul realized for the first time that life was fragile and
that he could have lost that dark haired, green eyed girl. And how that was a
sign post on the road that led him to life and to change and to the feet of
Jesus. And how he was made new and he wasn’t Paul anymore, now he was Dad.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me how that dark haired, green eyed girl finally
had it and refused to live in fear and doubt any longer. How she turned it all
over to the One who held it anyway, and stopped questioning whether she was
enough to be a true believer, and told Him that He was enough for her to be a
true believer. And how that very next week, she saw a dark haired, blue eyed
preacher boy in a green leisure suit, and how the green leisure suit didn’t
even end the whole thing before it started, thank the Lord. You told me how
that girl’s scheming pastor and wife invited those two potential lovers into
their home to meet over supper, and how that was the girl’s fourth date that
week. How anything had to be better than the first date of the week who had
asked her if his marijuana smoking habit might come between them. Hey, a green
leisure suit is nothing compared to that.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me how that dark haired, blue eyed young pastor was
everything that sweet, shy girl had ever dreamed of. How he was steady and true
and how they fell in love. How on their wedding day she accidently sprayed her
hair with furniture polish instead of hairspray. How they got married and
learned what it meant to pour out their lives for the body of Christ, and how
through all of these thirty-nine years and three children and six grandchildren
since then, staying faithful to that faithful blue eyed pastor was the easiest
thing she’s ever done.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">You told me about the end of Paul’s beautiful, gentle and
strong woman, or at least the end of this part of her journey. How the cancer
was so painful and how when I was four I would sit by her bed and make everyone
else leave the room so that I could just hold her hand and be with her. How she
was in the hospital with 24 hour care, and how one day Paul didn’t want to
leave the room but his brother convinced him to leave just to get lunch, and
how the nurse suddenly became nauseated and had to leave the room for just a
minute, and how that dark haired, green eyed girl stayed in the room alone and
saw the sudden last breath of her gentle and strong mother.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I remember the end of this part of Paul’s journey. I was
there. Not four anymore, but this time twenty-two, and still sitting in that
same bedroom, chair pulled up to the bed, singing “It is Well.” I was in the
house when he drew his last, and I saw you, with your dark hair and green eyes,
as you said goodbye to the man who had been changed all those years before.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And so, over three sleepless nights, you have shared your
history with me. I am so honored to know where you came from because it is also
where I have come from. Because I too have a mother who is at once both meek
and strong, whose heart is full of faithfulness and devotion to the man that
she loves. You named me after your mom, but I want you to know that you are so
much more like her than you think.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I have a father who has always known how to be a dad,
but Paul’s story is full of grace and so are you. You know the power of the
gospel to transform, and you know how not to give up on someone, and you
appreciate all the steadiness of the blue eyed pastor that you love. All the
pieces of your history – the desirable ones, the broken ones, the ones you wish
were different – have made you the treasure that you are. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Last night I ran out of questions. You were beginning to
weep and I was growing desperate and the only thing I could think to tell you
was to say the words of your favorite hymn. You didn’t want to but I begged you
and so you whispered against the night…</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Great is Thy
faithfulness, o God my Father<br />
There is no shadow of turning with Thee<br />
Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not<br />
As Thou hast been, Thou forever wilt be</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Great is Thy
faithfulness, great is Thy faithfulness<br />
Morning by morning new mercies I see<br />
All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided<br />
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And that is your story, Mom. That is your theme. Keep
singing it until the night is over.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-41079443879053669572017-08-13T22:56:00.002-04:002017-08-14T14:39:02.078-04:00What 39 Years Looks Like<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">I know what one year looks like. It looks a lot like two
strangers, still with remnants of wedded bliss floating around and yet just
waking up to the fact that in so many ways, they are still really just
strangers. Five years looks like awareness, more committed to the one who is becoming
less a stranger and more awake to the selfishness that lives inside and still
trying to figure out how to navigate life together. Eleven years feels more
comfortable, more humbling, and still has much more room to grow. But what does
thirty-nine years look like?</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri";">You showed me what it looks like.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><sup><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: x-small;"> </span></sup><span style="font-family: "calibri";">Husbands,
love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks like you giving yourself up
for her. You, laying down your ministry and your life’s work and your own
agenda to be there and be true to the promise you made four decades ago. In joy
and in pain, in sickness and in health. It looks like you being faithful like
your Shepherd.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">that
he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the
word</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks like you, the most modest
man that I know, you with the unbelievable gag reflex, becoming a nurse at age
67. Learning how to clean a wound, and then doing it – unpacking, cleaning,
repacking – day after day after day, and doing it without a word of complaint. (Except
for when you got angry at the latex gloves that were three sizes too small.) </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">so that
he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or
any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks like you on your face before
your Maker, begging Him for strength and for healing and for relief for her.
Crying out for answers and for faith and for help. Clinging to the promises
that laid the firm foundation so many years ago. Speaking them over her. It
sounds like the same low voices I heard all the years I slept in the next room,
teaching me how to commune with the Savior.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">in
the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks like you driving her to
Augusta every week or twice a week or as many times as it takes. Driving as she
cries, waiting, driving as she sleeps. It looks like you buying eight different
kinds of protein powder and 418 bottles of grape juice. It looks like you doing
laundry and dishes and vacuuming and getting rid of over half of the coffee mugs
when she’s not looking. It looks like you doing whatever it takes.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">he
who loves his wife loves himself</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks like you holding her through
the night. Losing sleep for months and staying by her side and fighting with
her through pain. It looks like your tears mingling with hers, weeping with
those who weep, hurting with her and for her and wishing you could take it from
her.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">for
no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ
does the church</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks like you, still laughing.
Still delighted at that bride, still holding on to the humor that has shaped a
household for four decades. Still finding joy and cracking jokes and trying to
get a rise out of her. Still smiling.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">therefore
a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two
shall become one flesh</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks like a long way off. It
looks real. It looks beautiful and hard and right.</span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: "calibri";">39 years looks a lot like Christ and the
church.</span></span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-85816773253083439922017-06-24T09:00:00.000-04:002017-06-24T09:07:41.708-04:00A Story About Us, or Not at AllIt was eleven years ago today, and I was as giddy as a
little girl. The doors opened and you were waiting, and the day was everything
I dreamed it would be. My daddy preached the gospel and I nodded my head and
grinned the whole time, and then we kissed and I was Mrs. Shugart and you were
a husband. We were lost in joy and delight and anticipation.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God was our Father, delighting over us.</div>
And then there were the days and years in the little duplex
on West Pine Avenue, where we learned how to survive together. You had three
jobs and I was clipping coupons you found in the dumpster and we were in school
and learning what it meant to be married. We had nothing, but we had everything
we needed.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God was our Provider, giving us our daily bread.</div>
One weekend we went to Boone and you made me climb
Grandfather Mountain. And not just climb, but run and slide on the ice and hold
onto the rope for dear life. And I was terrified because it was the first
mountain I had ever climbed and hello, the ice and the ropes and the cliffs.
But we made it, you holding my hand, and we sat at the top and felt the
triumph.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God was our Strength, pushing us beyond our limits
because He was enough.</div>
There was the music, always the music. Music in our living
room, in our church, in the coffee shops and at Spinners. Music in Hadley’s
shed for six months, recording and learning how to play in perfect time and
watching Hadley do Chris Farley impressions. <br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God was our Song, working through our fingertips and our
voices to fill the space with His beauty.</div>
There were three days when the timing worked out perfectly,
we got to the hospital in time, you held my hand and told me I could do it, and
we saw three perfect little humans enter in to the world. I watched you
transform into a dad and we were overwhelmed and they were all exactly right
for us, and our family kept growing.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God was Creator, bringing forth new life in our arms and
in our hearts.</div>
There were the days and weeks following the first birth,
when I couldn’t walk and couldn’t get better, and you suffered with me. There
were too many surgeries to make sense for your age, each time a blow to your passion
for staying active and fit and healthy, and each time I suffered with you.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God was our Healer, making us whole again and filling
our hearts with His sufficiency.</div>
There have been many arguments and misunderstandings and
moments or even seasons of selfishness. Iron rubbing against iron, clay pots in
the fire. It has not been easy, and I have found myself ashamed of forgetting
what really matters.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God is our Redeemer, working through our ashes to
produce beauty.</div>
One day we decided to put the kids and a tent into the van
and drive across the country to the Grand Canyon. We were almost eleven years in
to this thing called marriage, and over seven years in to this thing called
parenting, and we knew how crazy of an idea it was and how awesome it could be.
We made it and we hiked and we stared and we breathed in the air of majesty. We
shared it with each other and with our children.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And God was our Shepherd, ever leading us back to His glory.</div>
And now I realize, as I have before and as I will again,
that this is not so much a story about us as it is a story about Him. Because
He is the author, and He is the provider and the shepherd and the song. We are the sheep of His pasture and we are
being pursued by His goodness and mercy. We are on a journey to reveal His wisdom
and kindness and glory.<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
And Coach, I wouldn’t want to share this journey with anyone
else.</div>
Happy anniversary.Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1265682770624049190.post-89390019989619697412017-04-30T22:04:00.001-04:002017-04-30T22:04:14.267-04:00On the Days When You Suffer
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">This is one that I didn’t really want to write. You see, the
worst thing that happened in your life today was that your muffin got cold
before you finished it at breakfast, and as tragic and understandably
earth-shattering as that was, I would like to think that you can keep living in
that kind of world. But the truth is that today you are seven and five and two,
but tomorrow you will be teenagers and then grown-ups and I have learned that
the older you get, the more the brokenness of this world crowds in on you.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">It seems like these days I can taste suffering all around
me. There is hurt in every corner, and though I wish I could hide you three in
my pocket forever, I cannot.</span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">It’s not
the way.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So on the days that you suffer…on the days when you fail
miserably or make a terrible mistake, or when your heart gets broken…on the
days when cancer sneaks up on someone you love, or when your trust is betrayed
or you have to endure the valley of loss…on the days when afflictions grow
bigger than you have known them to be so far…on those days, remember this:</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">The Lord is near to
the brokenhearted…</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Near. Closer than a breath, even when you can’t breathe. He
enters in. He already laid aside His glory and put on skin and walked a
thousand miles in your shoes. He took all your sin and swallowed it, became it
so that you could taste righteousness and peace, and so He knows. He knows all
the awful secrets that chase the tail of sin, the emptiness and despair, and He
knows every bit of the pain wrapped up in the fallenness of the world. He knows
it and He enters in. He feels every ounce of what you feel because He is your
compassionate high priest.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So on the days when you suffer, suffer in His nearness. Feel
your pain and grief, but don’t feel it outside of His presence. He enters into
it with you, with groanings too deep for words. Trust in Him at all times and
pour out your heart before Him because He is a refuge.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">And saves those who
are crushed in spirit.</span></i></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">There is a promise, and even another one. There is a promise
for the brokenness and a promise for the ages. A promise for now – that no pain
is ever wasted, that He is ever at work for good, that He will make beauty from
ashes. And a promise for later – that one day He will wipe away every tear and destroy
the crushed serpent and make all things new.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="margin: 0px 0px 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Kids, the last thing I want to think about is you suffering,
but I know I can’t stop it. But you have His presence and you have His promise,
and that is worth more than gold. Heavens, I can’t even keep your muffins warm,
but He is a good, good Father, perfect in all of His ways. </span><span style="margin: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">So on the days that you suffer, cling to Him.
He is enough.</span></div>
<b></b><i></i><u></u><sub></sub><sup></sup><strike></strike>Like Sugar with a Thttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12818081913018329077noreply@blogger.com0