These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7
When I sit in my house…
There are little mouths to feed. The kitchen that was
spotless before I went to bed last night is now cluttered with pots and bowls
and spoons, fruit peels and vegetable ends, and random baby dolls and dominoes.
We sit at the table…or, let’s face it, more often the kitchen floor…and eat our
breakfast or our first, second, or third morning snack, or lunch, always
followed by “Mommy? Well, I’m still hungry, so…”
When I sit in my house, it is not for long. I check my email
and then jump up to turn the light on in the bathroom for a potty emergency. I
look up a recipe and then run into the living room to rescue a baby who has rolled
over onto her stomach and forgotten how to get back to the starting position.
When I sit in my house, it is to build a mouse house out of
treasure rocks. It is to make train tracks out of dominoes. It is to color with
magical markers that only write on magical paper. It is to change dirty
diapers. To fold laundry. To wipe up spills. And change more diapers.
When I sit in my house, it is to nurse my sweet baby. I sit
on the couch and send my 2 year old to the book basket to pick out some books
to read together while I feed her sister.
Oh God, will they see You in me? Let Your truth be in my heart and on
my tongue and on my mind, when I sit in my house.
When I walk by the way…
There are little hands to hold. And when did Claire get so
big that I had to force that issue, anyway? Wasn’t it yesterday that she couldn’t
even walk without clinging to my hand for balance and strength?
There is a huge stroller to push. I strap my girls in and
run. I’m going to have man-size forearms by the time they outgrow the double
jogger. Along the way we always point out every squirrel we see and make sure
to speak to other walkers, joggers, bikers, and dogs.
When I walk by the way, the destination cannot be the goal
or else I will live in frustration, because wherever we go there are countless
stops to make. “Mom! A flower!” “Mom! An ant!” “Mom! Look at that rock!” The
smallest pieces of creation come alive for my girl.
Will they see You in me? Let Your truth be in my heart and on my tongue
and on my mind, when I walk by the way.
When I lie down…
I never know how the night will go. Will I be getting up
multiple times this night? For feeding a hungry baby, for comfort after a
nightmare, for a drink of water for a thirsty child? And if they sleep through
the night, surely I won’t. I will wake up and wonder why I haven’t been called
out of my bed yet.
Will they see You in me? Let Your truth be in my heart and on my tongue
and on my mind, when I lie down.
When I rise…
When I rise, there are libraries, parks, and fountains to
visit. There are groceries to buy, bills to pay, deposits to make, packages to
mail.
When I rise, there is breakfast to make. There are songs to
sing and stories to read and little hearts to teach. There are tantrums to
handle but there is also laughter to enjoy. There are so many sweet moments to absorb and
remember and treasure. There are so many hard moments to teach me grace and
humility and dependence.
When I rise, I wonder if I will make it to the shower today.
I try my best to savor my hot cup of tea before any of the littles begin to
stir. I think about all the things I want to accomplish and sometimes remember
that only a few of those things really matter.
Sweet Lord, will they see You in me? Let Your truth be in my heart and on
my tongue and on my mind, when I rise.
