Be Like Me

Lately I have noticed a trend in my Claire-prayers. I pray for her to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus, to have a teachable spirit, to love God with all her heart/soul/mind/strength, just as I have always prayed…but often in the middle of these prayers, a little clause will pop up that goes something like this:

“…and please don’t let her struggle with fear like I do.”

“…and please don’t let her hold bitterness in her heart like her mom.”

“…and please don’t let her be as stubborn or faithless as me.”

And tonight I realized that the best thing I can do for my child is not to pray that she won’t be like me, but to pray for Jesus to change me.

Now, I know that the purest motivation for repentance is to glorify God, to be so compelled by the love and kindness of God in Christ that I come running to the cross. But surely the desire for my daughter to be able to follow my example is a tool for the Holy Spirit to bring me to the foot of the cross. Paul didn’t give his dearly loved young believers instruction and then a disclaimer (“Don’t be like me…”) Instead he said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

I want to say that and mean it. So instead of praying for Claire not to be like me, I will pray for Jesus to transform me into His likeness. And when (not if – because I know it is inevitable) Claire follows my example, I pray that it will be only to run to Jesus as her only hope of change.

Motherhood is good for me.